#All my walls stood tall painted blue
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foxes-that-run · 4 months ago
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Blue walls
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Reputation Magazines 1 and 2 | Everything Has Changed | Paper Rings | Peace | Call it What You Want Lyric Video | Lover Album Cover Photoshoot | 1989 Deluxe Polaroids
Taylor has used the imagery of painted blue walls on Red, 1989, Reputation, Lover and Folklore. While many Swifties imagine this is Taylor literally painting a muses brothers wall's blue, I don't agree because the blue wall was in:
lyrics on Red, Red has a link to Daylight and the lover prologue also
the 1989 Polaroids,
the CIWYW lyric video & Reputation magazines, looking staged. She also wears a cap similar to the Red TV cover.
the Lover Album Cover shoot, looking obviously staged where Taylor says it is possible album covers many times. The final Lover cover had her hair dyed/coloured/painted blue. In the video you can see Taylor had painted a heart on the blue lover wall, which is a happier sky blue daylight shade than in Reputation's depressed navy.
Symbolism
Walls can symbolise barriers, a shield to threats, isolation, boundaries and privacy, a separation of private and public.
Blue can symbolise calm, serenity but also depression and sadness. Taylor uses two very different shades in this way.
Painting can symbolise covering up, transforming or hiding something.
Brother - sometimes a brother is just a male sibling but it can also be a close trusted friend or companion.. perhaps a male friend who Taylor cowrote a love song about you with
To me I think the blue walls are a separation of Taylor and everyone else, her life is too public and she is exposed which made her sad, or blue:
She met the muse in EHC and took down her blue walls, letting them in.
In 1989 the polaroids for Clean and IWYW she has tall blue walls again, the tone looks like a pale blue with a yellow filter. This may be a happy shade and the filter makes it ambiguous, like that album.
On Reputation she paints the walls blue again, this time a depressed navy, her life is private and she's depressed. The background on CIWYW is also blue.
On Lover the shade is happy, but the scene is so forced. The lyric is remembering painting walls with someone, like a secret safe world. Paper Rings copies the melody of Breathe In, Breathe Out a song about a break up that Taylor mentioned on Tumblr on 25 June 2015 and referred to in Getaway Car and Labyrinth. Paper Rings is about a more complex feeling than it seems, and seemingly was written before Reputation was released or earlier.
Finally in peace the muse is painting dreamscapes on the walls …not an escape or reality but an image of a dream on a metaphor for being trapped.
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fatalsmile · 22 days ago
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dis.cord drop: numblittlebug lemme know who you are if you add me.
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fatalsmiles · 2 months ago
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I’m gonna be moving blogs in the next day or so, so hit the heart and I’ll follow you when I’m done? 🥺
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deadlysmilea · 1 year ago
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I'm not gonna lie, I'm having a lot of fun on Ae-cha. She's so fucked, I love her. You can find her at @numbidol ... She's kind of my main muse rn.
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billskeis · 6 months ago
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Hello!
I wanted to ask if it's possible that you write double smut with bill and tom? Like, they share her? At the same time, of course 😏
Thank you.
ᡣ𐭩 the kaulitz twin’s after-party “party”
“hey y/n! glad you could make it!” bill exclaimed as the two of you exchanged kisses on each side of the cheek, “thank you guys for inviting me!! ‘nd congrats on the awards, i’m so proud of you guys, hi tom!” you reach out an arm to hug the older twin, his arm wrapped around your waist lingering tightly, and longer than expected.
a smirk frames his face, “lookin’ good tonight,” you playfully spin around in your dress as you blush at his flirts, “oh you, you know i had to; couldn’t show down for my two best friends!”
and that’s what you guys would call it. best friends. you were there when tokio hotel weren’t tokio hotel. devilish, black question mark. since the beginning of time, you supported the four on their rockstar journey whilst also venturing yours. being one of the top soloists right now, tokio hotel and you were a hit! however, what comes with being so close with the twins, comes unwarranted feelings.
the twins eyed you up and down, and eyes just had to linger a little longer than they should’ve to where you’d noticed. cheeks flushed. you stood there in a little tight number, standing tall with your red black pumps.
adjusting themselves, bill clears his throat whilst tom adjusts his t-shirt collar, is it getting hot in here? you can’t help but look down at your heels, feeling small between the kaulitz twins that tower each one of your sides.
“so uh, y/n, you.. busy after this?” tom asks, your eyes widen at the sudden question. what could they possibly want to do after their after party? you were hoping to just go home and rest, considering your busy schedule that consumed most of your social life, but staying up a little later couldn’t hurt right? you take a swig of your alcoholic beverage as you smile, “nope! wanna do something?”
mischievous. as one would call it, the look on their faces. you, oblivious, were not aware of their intentions behind such a question. maybe you weren’t smarter than you looked, or perhaps you were. but you definitely didn’t have any social cues when it came to men. tom wrapped an arm around your waist yet again, you let it rest there. it’s a friendly gesture, to protect you from other men of course!
that was half true.
“let’s go to ours, we have better drinks there,” bill suggests.
that was a total lie.
“but what about the after party?” you cocked your head to the side in genuine curiosity. why would the twins leave their own party that they hosted for their band? odd, you thought, but because it wasn’t your party to begin with and you were JUST a guest, there was no point in further questioning it.
“don’t worry about it, georg and gustav are handling it, see?” as tom points towards the crowd to find double g gyrating with one another and some fans.
you laugh, not realizing that the two of them now have you enclosed even closer between them. as tom’s arm still remains, bill’s hand adorns your shoulder.
“shall we?” he asks.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚
“i—um—fuck! we.. shouldn’t be doing t-this..” saying that aloud sounds stupid, because how could anybody believe you while you slam your hips down onto tom’s lap, bill’s lips attached to your neck as he paints your neck with various shades of blue, reds and purple.
tom groans as your silky walls clench down on his length, tip hitting your g spot as you wince out in pleasure, “relax baby, paparazzi didn’t follow us back so you have nothing to worry about,” bill unlatches his mouth from your neck, a string of saliva remaining as he giggles looking at the state he’s left your upper body in.
“perfect,” a pleased hum emits from bill as he frees his hard-on from his boxers, whining as the cold air hits his throbbing and needy member.
with a shudder, bill guides one of your hands to the head of his tip, smearing the pre all over the sensitive mushroom head as you work your way up and down his cock.
“oh fuck, just like that..” bill placing his hand over yours in an aid to jerk him off as he would himself, kissing atop of your mouth as his tongue piercing glides over your oral cavity, feeling every nook and cranny of your mouth that has you gasping for more. with a lack of attention, tom pouts as you prioritize bill over him. tilting his pelvis, tom jerks his hips into yours, abusing your walls at a new angle that ends up deepening your kiss with bill, squeezing the head of his cock, “mmphh!”
“tom. be nice.”
“she can handle it, right y/n? you can handle this dick..” tom says with a low chuckle.
melting into the kiss, both you and bill ellicit sweet little cries to one another, “i did it ‘cause i wanted more attention, schatz,” you hear from behind you. as you break the kiss between you and bill turning your head to face the figure you rode, that looks at you with puppy dog eyes.
your cunt is already sensitive, it’s been about two hours since you’ve guys began, well, this. you really wondered how you got yourself into such a mess. maybe it was the way that tom’s little movements on you had your knees buckling, or the way that bill’s smile warmed your heart. you think to yourself, you’re just friends. juuuust friends.
friends don’t do the things you’re doing.
while getting off of tom’s lap, you position yourself onto bill’s, cunt already leaking onto his member and wasting no time and sliding down on his length. bill grips balls of sheets into his fists as he restrains himself from taking you all for himself, “oh gott, y-y/n,” his mouth hanging low as he lets out a strained sob from how sensitive he is. you’re warm, and still tight, and bill can’t help but feel as though he’s in heaven.
tom is still and watches with wide eyes as he soon realizes your mouth engulfs his dick, tongue swirling over his tip as you messily spit and drool saliva all over his cock, “damn.. you little minx, didn’t think ya’d be into this,” holding your hair into a makeshift ponytail with his hand, using his opposite to pet the top of your head, bobbing up and down.
bill hands hold each side of your ass as he guides your hips up and down his cock, biting his lip as he gasps from how greedily your pussy swallows his cock, “such a slut huh? like the way we take you at the same time.. one cock wasn’t enough, you needed two?” be nice, he said. fucking hypocrite. his dirty words are mean, but have an inverse impact on you as your cunt tightens around him along with a moan vibrating in your throat, tom curses, “oh fuck ‘m not gonna last long..”
tom does everything in his power to hold himself from fucking his hips into your mouth, but it also isn’t helpful considering the fact that bill’s thrusts from behind pushes tom further down your throat. “shitshitshit, bill.. ya close?” “m-mmhm..”
like a pig roasted on a spit, like the slut you truly are, holes fucked by your two best friends, your hips and mouth stutter to escape both ends.
“gonna cum sweet girl?” tom asks as he cups your cheek with one hand, thumb swiping over the tears that spill from the ongoing pleasure that surges through your body. both twins are close as well, eager to finish as there’s an unrelenting tempo to bill’s thrusts and tom hastily working his hands on your head in guiding your mouth, fully savouring his taste.
“coming..!”
one quick thrust all at once, you slightly gag on tom and tense your body as the three of you came simultaneously, shaky and trembling. cum paints your insides from opposite ends, filling you to the brim as electricity jolts from the inside out. as bill and tom empty their loads, they finally let out, you’ve managed to swallow all of tom’s, but bill’s seeps from between your legs.
quickly, bill shoves his fingers into your cunt, leaving them there as you wail, ‘b-bill!’ overstimulated, he scoffs jokingly, letting out a quick ‘what?’ as he then removes his fingers admiring his cream-pie.
laying flat on the bed, your body slightly twitches from the lingering pleasure. tom reaches out to hand you a water-bottle as bill uses a warm washcloth to clean you up. thanking the two, both join you in the king-sized bed for a long needed cuddle session.
now let’s just say, the media has found a new scoop on their new hit rockstars.
but you’ll deal with that tomorrow morning!
guys am losinggg my mind i miss my moots i missed my passion for writing i miss thriving :c lmk if i suck i’ll do better
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interact if ur still active , pls </3 pls comment and talk 2 me i wanna be more engaging
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megamindsecretlair · 9 months ago
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Fall Into You
Pairing: Kevin Atwater x Black!Fem!/ Plus Size reader
Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, You are in charge of your own reading experience. Intentional use of AAVE. SMUT. PWP, cursing, PIV, oral (female and male receiving) teasing/mocking, cum play, size kink, dirty talk, praise kink, all consensual. Slight power imbalance, Kevin is a landlord and reader is the tenant. No sexual favors being exchanged.
Summary: Hoping to beat the storm, Kevin comes over to fix your sink. However, the power goes out and you get to know your new landlord a little better.
Word Count: 7,402k
AO3 Link
A/N: Hello, my loves. This has been on my brain for a while and a special gift for @babybratzmaraj. I guess I should stop apologizing for writing so much, the story gon' need what it needs. ONE SHOT. Please, please consider commenting and reblogging to help support writers! And please put ages in bios! Or get blockt!
Taglist: @planetblaque @browngirldominion @we-outsiiiide @iv0rysoap @thecookiebratz
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The doorbell tore you from your thoughts as you looked out of your window. The TV stated that the storm was only getting started. Only getting started…
You inwardly groaned and fixed your glasses, heading to your door and checking the peephole. Kevin Atwater stood on the other side and your heart fluttered just seeing him. You stepped back, took a deep breath, and opened the door.
“Kevin! Thank you! You didn’t have to come today. This storm looks nasty,” you said. 
Kevin smiled and shook his head. He wore a black puffer jacket zipped up and carried a small toolbox. “No problem, I promise. Chicago’s seen worse and you need a working sink,” he said. 
You stepped back and let him inside, hoping that your glasses didn’t fog up from the sheer sexiness that entered your apartment. 
“Huh, you decorated since last time,” he said.
You looked around at the cozy space. The walls were standard, plain cream, but you made sure to dress it up with paintings in soothing blue and ocean pieces that reminded you of your hometown. The boxes had been cleared away since the last time Kevin was over to fix your bedroom door.
“Yeah, had to make it look like I actually live here,” you said with a giggle. 
Kevin laughed with you. He placed the toolbox on your small, round kitchen table and took off his jacket. You busied yourself with tidying up your clean apartment. You picked up the bowl of fruit just to…put it right back down on the sink. 
You had to look anywhere but at the deep burgundy button up he wore. Or the peek of a black tank underneath. His bulging arms or the way his hips sloped just so. You had to look away so that he wouldn’t see the neon “horny” sign on your forehead.
You could not crush on your landlord. It was several kinds of wrong. But how could you not? He was so tall, charming, funny, and sweet. His juicy pink lips have been the star of multiple fantasies lately. 
“...help you with that,” Kevin was saying.
“Huh? Sorry…” you said and gave him a sheepish smile. Your mind tended to go on little vacations. Especially where Kevin Atwater was concerned. 
He smiled at you and began rolling up the sleeves of his shirt. “I said what did you do with the boxes? I told you I could help you with that,” he said.
You waved him off and dropped down into a nearby kitchen chair. “You already do so much for me, Kevin. I really should be paying you,” you said. 
“Rent’s just fine with me. I told you to call me for whatever you need,” he said. His eyes lingered on you a second too long before he licked his lips and started rummaging around in his toolbox. 
You were incapable of thinking anything but dirty thoughts when he spoke. Whether he meant it that way or not. He brought the toolbox closer to your sink. He flipped the faucet and the pipes groaned. A loud, groaning sound as if there were ghosts dancing in the pipes. 
He flipped it back off and gave you a look. “You ain’t tell me it was making that kind of a noise,” he said.
“I told you it was a noise,” you said. You shrugged your shoulders and he chuckled, licking his lips as he went back to looking at the sink. 
“I was thinking it was a small noise. Like something just needed some WD-40,” he said. “That…sound bad, right?” He asked.
“You’re asking me?” You shook your head dramatically. “If I knew anything about fixing sinks, I wouldn’t have asked you here during a storm.” You still felt guilty about that. You told Kevin that you could wait until it passed, that running water wasn’t that important in the grand scheme of things. You had bottles of water and the bathroom sink worked just fine to wash your hands. 
As your mind wandered, you weren’t paying attention to Kevin getting closer. You didn’t notice as he stood in front of you and dropped down to a squat to look you in the eye. You shrieked when you finally saw him as he seemed to have teleported from the sink. 
“There is no way in hell I’ma let my favorite tenant live here with no running water. So no more need to apologize, right?” 
His raspy voice made you lose all coherent thought. You twiddled your fingers since he was too close and you gave him a light, nervous giggle. “Stop. I’m not your favorite tenant. I’ve seen the way Mrs. Brennan looks at you. Like you hang the moon,” you said.
Kevin chuckled and stood up, going back to the sink with the toolbox in his hand. He hummed. “I helped her out with something and now she keeps trying to set me up with her granddaughter,” he said. 
“Oh? Does Kevin Atwater have trouble meeting women?” You teased. 
He laughed as he opened the cabinet underneath. You hadn’t had a chance to get to the store for proper cleaning supplies. So far, all you had was bleach and Pinesol, a small bucket, and a pack of sponges. It was on your long, long, long list of things you needed in order to feel settled in this place. 
The wind roared outside and it shook the windows. It howled. The heater was on but did little to combat the chill in the air. You would never feel settled here. The winters were a different breed. Designed to freeze you to the toes and wrack your body with uncontrollable shivers. 
“I meet plenty of women. But timing and circumstances are never there,” Kevin said. He settled onto his back and turned off the water to the sink. He began working, leaning forward to grab a tool and then use it under the sink. 
His shirt rode up revealing a soft middle that you wanted to sink your teeth into. He was solid and stocky, built for sturdiness. 
“What do you mean by timing and circumstance?” You asked.
“Well, I did have a thing with someone but wasn’t exactly healthy. She didn’t like that I’m a cop,” he said. 
“Hate to break it to you, but you’ll find that a lot of people won’t like that you’re a cop,” you said. For you, it was always, “fuck cops”. After meeting Kevin, now it was, “want to fuck that cop in particular”. 
You looked useless sitting there at the kitchen table, but what else were you supposed to do? You still had some unpacking to do but you didn’t feel right leaving him alone. The place didn’t feel like yours yet. Your manners prevented you from leaving him to it as if he were some servant only here to do a job. 
“That’s fair. But can’t stop me from trying,” he said.
“That’s the spirit. Are you a romantic?” You asked. You heard the words after you spoke them and shook your head, not that he could see. “Sorry, that’s rude. You don’t have to answer that.” You pushed your glasses back up your nose and blew out a quiet sigh. 
“Nah, it’s cool. I guess, yeah, I would say I’m a romantic. Just waiting for the right girl. How ‘bout you come help me? Hand me that wrench,” he said. He pointed to something in his toolbox.
You stood up and got closer to him, getting down to your knees and sitting back on your legs. You picked up the nearest wrench and handed it to his outstretched hand. You shared a look with him as he took it from you and began loosening a bolt on the pipe. 
“You? You into the whole thing about romance?” He asked.
“Uh, yeah. I believe it exists. How anyone can find love here when you’re freezing your ass off is beyond me,” you said.
“It’s all about layers. Undershirt, thermal, overshirt, sweater, hoodie, jacket. You’ll be warm enough,” he said.
You giggled. “Warm enough? I’d be sweating worse than…” You successfully caught yourself before mentioning sex. You bit the corners of your mouth to prevent you from giggling about that. Something about Kevin Atwater turned you into a giggling mess like some kid with a crush. 
“Worse than what?” Kevin asked. 
You glanced at him. His pink tongue poked out between his lips as he worked on the bolt. The screeching from the metal grated a bit and you winced. 
“Worse than a sauna,” you finished lamely. He flicked a glance at you as if he knew that wasn’t what you were going to say originally. He left it alone as he hummed and returned to the bolt. 
“You get used to it,” he said.
“This type of cold? No thanks,” you said.
Kevin chuckled. He sat up from the sink and fixed his shirt, lowering it over the glimpse of his stomach. He looked at you and smiled. “There’s more to Chicago than just the winter time. We have the best pizza. Everybody friendly, they just loud about it. Tell you what, why don’t you finally take me up on my offer to take you to Molly’s? It’s run by a couple of friends. They’re nice people, we’d all protect you, and you’d be able to get out and enjoy some things around here,” he said. 
“A bar full of cops, doctors, and firemen? I’d feel so intimidated,” you said. You shook your head and giggled. 
“Don’t. You need to get out,” he said.
“Pot, meet kettle. How many times have you been out this week?” 
“Fair. But if you go out, I will too,” he said. 
You held his stare and bit the corners of your mouth again. “I have so much to do here already,” you said. You didn’t like that you kept turning him down but the thought of meeting that many people at once? You wouldn’t survive it. 
You knew Kevin would be nice and show you around but being at the center of attention was unbearable. 
“One day I’ll get you to say yes. If you’re gonna be here, you may as well make some friends. I think you’d get along with Stella. You remind me of her,” he said. 
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, tough, no nonsense, funny, sweet,” he said. 
“Please,” you said and giggled. Was this Stella single? Did they have something going? 
Kevin opened his mouth to say something else when the wind howled louder, tearing your gaze to the window. The window shook and the lights began to flicker before they spasmed out. You shrieked as you were shrouded in darkness. 
The pale, white glow of the outside gave your apartment a blue and gray tint. Like waking up in the morning and the sun was still hiding behind clouds. You stood up and went to the window but you weren’t sure what you were looking for. Only that the snow and hail seemed to fall harder, peppering the ground. 
“Shoot,” you said. 
Kevin stood up and moved behind you, placing one hand on your hip while he leaned behind you to look outside as well. His warm hand scorched your skin as he looked one way and then another. 
“Let me see if it’s just us. Lock this door behind me,” he said.
You’d never seen this side of him yet. The kind that took charge. A new authority entered his voice, one that did not entertain disobedience. He turned and walked out and you followed behind to close and lock the door. 
You paced your kitchen as you waited. You didn’t know why. Lights went out all the time. He was perfectly safe going to the basement to check the circuit breaker. Minutes passed while you piddled around, cleaning up runaway socks on the floor around the hamper. 
Still had things to unload in the bathroom, but without light, you couldn’t see what you were pulling out of the box. It was too awkward holding your phone’s flashlight and the items. 
A knock on your door made you jump but then you checked the peephole. Kevin stood there with his hands in his pockets, glancing around. You opened the door and let him back inside. 
“Power’s out on the whole block. I already put in a call with utilities. With this kind of storm, there’s no telling when they’ll get out,” he said.
You sighed. “Oh, Kevin, I’m so sorry!” You said. You should have pushed him harder to stay home. To fix it another day. 
“Hey, what did we say about apologizing?” He asked.
“Sorry! I just feel so bad. Oh! I said it again, sorry,” you said. You slapped a hand over your mouth as you couldn’t stop apologizing for trapping him here. Now what were you going to do? He couldn’t fix your sink in the dark and there was no power to cook so you couldn’t offer him a meal. 
Kevin crossed towards you, invading your personal space. “No more apologizing. It’s okay,” he said.
“Well, I was going to save these until after. Since you’re stuck with me, we have cookies to hold us over,” you said. 
“If I had to be stuck anywhere, I’m glad it’s with you,” he said. 
You smiled and tugged on the sleeves of your purple shirt. Now that the power was out, that meant your heater was too. “Shit,” you said, realizing.
You told Kevin and he nodded. “Have you unpacked something to drink? I’ll show you how us Chicagoans stay warm,” he said. 
“That’s the first thing I unpacked,” you said. You left his overwhelming presence and went to your kitchen. The plate of cookies were wrapped on the short sink so that he wouldn’t have seen it. You wanted to surprise him with gratitude for all the hard work he did around your place.
You opened a cabinet and grabbed two glasses. They clinked together as you placed them on the sink and went to a small pantry, taking out a bottle of whiskey. Kevin joined you in the kitchen to help and he whistled at the bottle. “Basil Hayden?” He asked.
“Did you expect something girly?” You asked. 
“No ma’am, just didn’t take you for a whiskey type,” he said. He grinned and joined you at the table. 
“Now, we don’t want to get wasted but the goal is to keep a steady drink going to stay warm. So how ‘bout some questions to get to know each other? Since we got all this time,” he said. 
“Is this an interrogation?” You asked with a giggle. 
“Naw, just two friends getting to know each other. So we either answer truthfully or take shots. Up for it?” He asked. 
“I’m game if you are,” you said. Kevin took the lead by pouring tiny shots for you both in each glass. He pushed your glass towards you.
“You can go first,” he said.
You tapped the glass and thought about a good question to ask. “I’ll go easy. What’s a secret you’ve never told anyone?” 
“That’s easy?” He asked.
You nodded. You pointed to his glass. “You can always drink up if that’s too hard on you,” you said.
He smirked. “A secret I’ve never told anyone…I once met my celebrity crush at a mall signing. She signed a poster for me. I…still have it,” he said and smiled.
“Who! Who’s your secret crush?” You asked.
“Aht, it’s my turn. Worst heartbreak?” He asked.
“Easy questions, huh?” You asked.
He shrugged. “You don’t become friends by finding out each other’s favorite colors.”
You thought about it and nodded. You told him about your worst heartbreak and how you dealt with it. How difficult it was to move on from it. 
You went back and forth asking safe, but deep questions that required more than yes or no answers. You learned more about him and if it was possible, you fell for him even more.
“How in the world are you single?” You asked when it was your turn again. 
Kevin chuckled and played with his glass. So far, you had taken a few shots too nervous to answer the questions he asked. He had only taken two. One for when you asked about his parents and one when you asked about his first love. 
“I wish I knew. I date; you make it sound like I hide in my house after work. The shit I see every day, sometimes I just need to get it out of my head. Dating on top of that just seems cruel,” he said. 
You nodded. You could respect that. You had no idea what it was like being a cop. Seeing the worst humanity had to offer and still have to come up with hope for the people who survived. Dealing with the press and the community painting cops as modern day boogeyman. Still. He was too sweet and strong to not have someone. It was criminal. 
“How come you don’t have anyone?” He asked.
You fixed your glasses and shrugged. “May be a surprise to you but guys these days are…nasty. They send unsolicited dick pics, they can’t hold a conversation, and think women owe them something for buying them a drink. Like…I didn’t ask for the drink so why does that mean I have to open my legs or suck them off? Especially when they won’t even go down on a woman!” 
Kevin’s surprised face made you suddenly feel the alcohol loosening your limbs and warming you up. It definitely loosened your tongue. You groaned and rubbed your forehead. “Sorry, that’s TMI,” you said. 
“I would say take a drink every time you apologize, but then this bottle would be gone.”
The word was on the tip of your tongue and you bit it to keep from speaking it. He smirked at your attempt and you rolled your eyes. “You don’t know everything,” you said. Well, the door was open…
“What is your ideal woman?” You asked.
“Ideal? Shit, I just want someone I vibe with. That thinks like me. Has goals,” he said. 
“Beauty? Brains?” You asked.
“Why won’t you go to Molly’s with me?” He asked.
You smiled, remembering that it was only one question per person. “I don’t know anyone. Meeting new people sucks. I don’t have the personality for great first impressions,” you said.
“You know me,” he said. “I would make sure you’re good. And you are great at first impressions. I wouldn’t have rented to you otherwise.”
“You are just being nice like always. Why is it important for me to go to Molly’s?” 
“I want you to feel welcome here. Feel like you belong so you can stay,” he said. 
You ducked your head, playing with your glass. The soft slide of glass on the table was the only sound in the room. Outside, the wind continued to howl as the storm carried on. You shivered, despite feeling toasty from the whiskey. Your skin felt icy. “I moved here, Kevin. That’s about as permanent as it gets.” 
Kevin scooted closer. He had to spread his legs wider to accommodate your chair. The smell of him invaded your senses. The smell of whiskey on him made your head fuzzy. He brought his hand up to caress your cheek. He gently turned your head to look at him.
“This may be the drink talkin’, but you feel this too, right? Between us? If I’m imagining it, let me know now,” he said. 
You looked at his lips and then back up to his eyes. He caught the movement and did the same, his gaze drifting down your face and then back up again. 
“You’re not imagining it,” you said. 
Kevin leaned over and captured your lips in a sweet, tender kiss that warmed you up quicker than the whiskey. You returned the kiss, sighing, tongues dueling with each other. 
“Hmm, knew you’d taste sweet,” he said. He pecked your lips once, twice, and then lingered on the third time humming. 
Emboldened by his actions, you leaned out of your chair. You climbed into his lap, wrapping your hands around his shoulders. Kevin sighed and put his hands on your hips, squeezing every so often. 
“You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with,” he said.
You smiled and kissed him again, rolling your hips. He groaned and his hands went lower to grab your ass. He gripped and massaged your ass, squeezing painfully enough to make you cry into his mouth. He growled hearing the sound, kissing you with more passion after each kiss. 
“I want you, Kevin Atwater,” you said against his lips. 
“Are you sure?” He asked. He leaned back and looked into your eyes. “If you’ve had too much to drink–” 
“Shut up,” you said with a grin and kissed him. 
You had been playing this subtle game between each other for weeks as you signed your lease and moved in. The first time you called him to tell him about your stuck doors, he showed up the next day he was free. He made conversation easy as he fixed the doors. He immediately put you at ease. 
He found that your closet door was stuck too but he didn’t have time to fix it at the time. He told you that he would be back and again, he made it so easy to talk to him and time flew by when he was around. It was like you didn’t have time to think about being nervous when he was telling you about must see attractions to Chicago. He kept talking about the pizza and promised to bring one over.
He made moving there for work not feel so lonely. You were worried if you would find friends outside of work. No matter what, work friends were not true friends. 
You kissed him again, your hands drifting down to start unbuttoning his shirt. The alcohol wasn’t affecting you in the way he thought. It only lowered your natural anxiousness about being bolder. Funner. More open. Going after what you wanted.
Now that you knew you weren’t crazy, that he wanted you as well, a dam broke. Kevin matched your desperateness to get your clothes off as well. 
“I know another way to stay warm,” you said. 
Kevin chuckled. “I told you I can help with whatever you need,” he said. “I keep my promises.” 
You finally got his shirt loose and pushed it off of his shoulders. He had huge muscles, showing off a physique that made you lick your lips in anticipation. His thighs bunched underneath you and you moaned, rolling your hips against his pelvis. 
His erection was thick against his jeans. Kevin grabbed the edges of your shirt and pulled it off you, revealing your bra. He moaned and kissed around your chest. His hands traveled up and down your back, warming it up just like he promised. 
The black tank he wore underneath looked damn good on him but it had to go. He stopped kissing your chest long enough to let you remove it.  Your hands explored his chest while he put his mouth over your nipple through the fabric. 
You moaned, throwing your head back and giving him better access. He took the opportunity you presented and sucked on your titty until the fabric was soaked with his saliva. Your nipple became increasingly sensitive under his attention. You were hissing and shaking by the time he finally let go and admired his handiwork.
He switched to your other nipple, giving it the same love and attention as the first. You squirmed in his lap, unable to stop moving. Your hands moved to the back of his neck and held him to you. He groaned and continued to tug and suckle on your nipple until it was sensitive as well. 
As a big girl, it was not easy to feel small. Dainty. Delicate. But you felt like that in Kevin’s capable hands. You felt worshiped. Adored. The soft light coming from outside made the room feel like a bubble. Like time stopped somewhere outside and you were free to explore. To breathe. To cherish this moment with Kevin. 
He licked the swell of your breast outside of your bra and you moaned. He kissed up your neck until his lips found yours. Until he was nibbling on your lips and licking away the sting. He sucked on your bottom lip and you felt the tug in your pussy. 
You were uncomfortably wet. You felt your arousal dampening your panties. You didn’t know how much longer you would hold out. Or survive. 
“You squirming a lot there. You feelin’ good?” He asked.
“Yes,” you moaned. 
“What I’m gon’ find when I take them panties off?” He asked. 
“Me, excited. Ready for you,” you said.
“Ohh, you a little naughty on top of being sweet?” 
You didn’t have time to answer. Kevin stood up, holding you, cupping your ass so you didn’t slip. He kissed you while he held you. But your heart was thumping. Thundering. “I got you, don’t you even worry,” he whispered against your lips.
The apartment was small so he crossed the space in a few steps to get to your bed. He gently laid you down and stepped back to admire how needy you were. How you stretched out on the bed and made a sublime vision of wantonness. 
He bit his lip with a smirk as he unbuttoned your jeans and tugged them off your hips. Your breathing was rapid, out of control. Your chest rose and fell in quick succession. Your skin felt alive and electric. Like he needed to enter you right this second or you’d spontaneously combust.
“Look at you. Needy little thing,” he commented. His hands spanned the expanse of your thighs, rubbing and kneading. 
“Oh, Kevin,” you moaned. 
“So you ready for me, huh?” He asked. You watched through slitted eyes as he tilted his head. How could he be in control right now? Had it been that long for you? 
You were too busy packing and saying goodbye to family and friends to worry about getting your rocks off. You were too busy working and unpacking in Chicago to worry about finding someone to relieve the pressure. The past few weeks, it had been you and Roman the Rose. 
“I’m so ready,” you said, making him chuckle. 
He took off his shoes, socks, and jeans and you watched him unveil parts of his body you imagined. Lusted over. Pictured way too often to ever tell him the truth. 
“Mhm, we gon’ see,” he said. He joined you on the bed. Kneeling on it, the bed groaned under his weight and you smiled. Your bed had been previously unprepared for someone of his size. He dropped his lips to your chest slowly. When his breath fanned over your nipples, you moaned and twisted away from him.
He completely covered you, however, so there was no place to go. He licked the swell of your breasts again, glancing up at your reactions. You were mesmerized by him. Under his spell. One of his hands slipped up your thigh and you twinged. Goosebumps pebbled your skin but you felt like you were on fire. 
He pressed a thumb over your panties and pushed in, digging the fabric past your pussy lips and groaned at the wet glide of it already. “Oh shit,” you moaned. 
“Hm, look what I found,” he said against your skin. 
His fingers played with your pussy over your panties and you kept moving, twisting, writhing against your bed and underneath him. Every so often, his thumb would grace your pussy lips. That hint of skin to skin contact made you hiss and roll your hips against his hand. 
Kevin used his teeth to drag down the cup of your bra. He grinned finding your dark nipple and then he latched on, swirling his tongue around it in a way that let you know he’d do the same to your pussy when given the chance. 
Your breaths were choppy. Belly flipping. Pussy throbbing. Hands clutching your sheets and yanking. 
Your orgasm was tearing through you, stealing your breath like a thief. Stars exploded behind your eyelids as rippling pleasure traveled throughout your body. Kevin hummed through it all. 
“Look so damn pretty when you cum. Gon’ look even better when I get in there. I bet you’re gonna feel good ridin’ this dick,” he said. His raspy voice was its own brand of magic. Your nipples were still sensitive under his ministrations and the painful tug felt delicious. 
You whimpered. He used his teeth to drag down your other cup and gave it attention as well. His tongue flicking across the dark areola. “Shit!” You moaned.
“Mhm, let me hear it,” he said. His warm breath fanned across the wet spots he left behind and you shuddered. 
“Kevin, please,” you begged.
“Naw, that beggin’ shit don’t work on me,” he said. 
You whimpered once more as he rolled your nipple between his teeth. His hand went back to rubbing your pussy but this time, he finally slipped underneath. His thumb teased the area around your clit, never quite hitting it and teasing you with no mercy. 
“Oh fuuck,” you moaned. You turned your head to the side and bit your sheets, turning distraught at the realization that he was going to take his time with your body. He was an explorer. He was a master conductor fine tuning your body and learning the sounds you were capable of producing. 
He sucked hard on your nipple and your back left the soft sheets, arching away from the bed. “Augh,” moaned. 
At the same time, he dipped a finger into your entrance getting his finger wet up to the knuckle. “Nice and fuckin’ wet. Fuck,” he moaned. 
You hissed as he moved his finger in and out. His thumb continued to tease your clit, never directly touching it. It was a dual sensation that drove you insane and contracted on his finger.
“You gon’ feel this good squeezing on my dick?” He asked.
“Uh-huh,” you said and nodded. Hell yes you would. He just needed to believe you and get inside you already. You moved your hips against his finger and he hummed in appreciation. 
“Oh, impatient too. You wanna cum again?” He asked.
You nodded. “Yes, please, I wanna cum,” you whined, your voice tinny and weak. 
“Good girl, using your words without me having to tell you. A’right, I’ll let you cum,” he said. He pushed a second finger inside you and then began pumping in earnest. His thumb moved to rub circles around your clit and you came instantly, shouting and twitching.
“Shit, shit, shit,” you moaned as you came, eyes rolling into the back of your head. Kevin placed kisses along your chest as you did so, keeping up his particular brand of torture. He slowed down as your breathing returned to normal. 
“Hmm-mm,” I can get used to that,” he said.
You struggled to your elbows and looked at him. “Fuck,” you panted.
He grinned and stood up. He slipped his fingers out of you and then licked them one by one. He moaned, closing his eyes. Fuck. It was the hottest thing you’d ever seen. He licked his fingers like runaway scoops of brownie mix left on the spatula. 
You were getting worked up looking at him. He was distracted. You smirked as you leaned forward and pressed kisses to his stomach. He tensed up at the contact and you looked up at him. 
He grinned at you, grabbing you by the throat. Your eyes fluttered closed. He hummed. He pulled you into a kiss. A wet, sloppy, loud one that made you hiss and scoot closer to him. You were dripping, soaked. Every movement you made called attention to the fact that you were wet as hell.
“I got somethin’ for you, but I wanna eat first. We didn’t get to them cookies you baked,” he said. 
Your eyes turned watery. “Please, let me touch you, Kevin,” you said. 
He planted another kiss on your lips, lingering to swipe his tongue around your lips and diving inside. Your pussy ached. You’d never felt so empty in your entire life. “You’ll get your chance to make sure my dick wet for you. I don’t wanna hurt you when I finally fuck you,” he said.
You sighed painfully through your nose. Your vision swam with tears. You were beyond horny. You didn’t think you were this insatiable. You had two orgasms already but you wanted more. You wanted more from him. 
Kevin licked his lips and removed his hand from your neck.. He rubbed your lips with his thumb and then gave you a sweeter kiss this time around. “Now lean back and let me get to eatin’,” he commanded.
You needed no further encouragement as you flopped back onto the bed. He peeled your panties off, cooing at the dripping mess you were. “Hm-mm,” he sighed. He kissed your thighs as he slipped your panties off. He licked your calf. He threw your panties somewhere behind him and it landed with a soft, wet plop. 
You would have felt embarrassed usually. But there was nothing but pure, uncut lust. You could taste it in the air. Feel it burning you inside and out. 
Kevin hummed, stroking himself through his briefs. He spread your legs and watched as your arousal slowly leaked out of you. You felt it roll down the crack of your ass and shivered. Cool air blasted from somewhere. The wind continued to howl, adding to the soft orchestra of sounds you were currently making. 
Kevin knelt down slowly and got into position between your legs. He put them over his shoulders and yanked you down to the edge of the bed. His arms hooked underneath your legs and spread you open for his meal.
He blew slowly across your wet clit and you shivered. The anticipation was worse. You couldn’t stop moving, shaking, yearning. Kevin laughed and kissed your clit. He hummed. “Taste so fuckin’ good already. You’re so wet, baby,” he said. “Gonna drown in this pretty pussy.” 
“Fuck, Kevin!” You shrieked. 
He chuckled. “Calm down, what you cussin’ for? I ain’t even do nothin’ yet,” he said. 
You whined, rolling your hips. “Please, please, please,” you begged. You couldn’t take this teasing. You weren’t used to it. Had you even had sex before this? You thought you had decent lovers before. Men who knew what they were doing and had you screaming until the cows came home.
But Kevin? Kevin eclipsed any man that came before. You were a virgin all over again. This was your first time and your partner was an expert. A sex demon sent straight from hell. 
“The more you beg, the longer I take,” he said. He licked outside of your pussy lips. He went as far as the seam and pulled back, licking down ‘till he reached your entrance. His tongue just crested the surface of it. 
“Okay, I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” You yelled and huffed. 
Kevin continued to tease you, drawing curses and screams and yells as he explored your body. Your thighs shook violently. Tingles turned to pinpricks against your legs the longer he held them open. 
Wave upon wave of desire flooded your system. Your hands played in his hair as he worked, savoring you. He hummed every so often when you tugged on his hair or made a sound that sounded like you were near death. Near leaving this plane of existence forever.
You stopped trying to plead with him. You become engrossed in the pleasure he was giving you. You and it were one and you surrendered to the feel of him. He finally pushed in further, drawing his tongue close to your clit.
“Auhh,” you croaked.
Kevin kept going, swirling his tongue. His sloppy, loud eating was seduction personified. He sucked so hard that he made noises with your pussy. 
You couldn’t say anything to let him know that you were enjoying yourself. You couldn’t encourage him to keep doing what he was doing. Your mind was gone. Gone on a different trip this time. 
He sighed against your pussy and then flicked his tongue on your clit. It was your undoing. You cried out, pupils blown wide as you came and came and came. Shivers wracked your body. Kevin held you down in his powerful arms, helping you weather the tempest rushing through you.
Your fingers dug into his wild hair and pulled. It didn’t seem to faze Kevin. He continued to eat you out as if searching for the next meal course. He ate you on the way down from the high. You moaned and bit your lip, hoping pain would help dull this type of ecstasy. It did not. 
Kevin smacked his lips as he slowly stopped, rolling his tongue one more time. He leaned back and surveyed his work. You heard him smacking his lips. “Makin’ such a big mess for me,” he whispered. He kissed your pussy and then leaned back. 
Your eyes found his. He smirked. His beard dripped with your essence. Entire lower jaw was wet and you saw trails of your slick in his beard. He rubbed it in, moving his hand to work in what you left on him. 
“How you feelin’, gorgeous?” He asked. 
“Like I died,” you said.
He chuckled. “Well, now you got some work to do. Get this dick wet,” he said.
He helped you into a sitting position. You yelped, feeling the giant pool you made on the edge of the bed. You were definitely going to have to wash these immediately. He grabbed your throat, tearing your thoughts away from the bed and back onto him. 
He leaned down and kissed you. Fuck, you tasted good on him. You smelled yourself and it only turned you on more. He sucked on your bottom lip and then swiped his tongue up. He made out with you and you somehow dripped more. You were a veritable slip and slide at this point. If he entered you, he’d face no resistance.
He pulled back and you smiled goofily at him. He smiled back. “Even better than I been dreamin’,” he said. He leaned back and let you go. You watched as he removed his briefs. Your eyes widened at the size of him. 
He was long and thick, a deadly combination. Maybe all the prep time was more from necessity. Had he tried entering you without lube or without foreplay, that shit would hurt. You were no punk though.
You fixed your glasses and greedily took him into your mouth. You were not as nuanced as he was. You did not have time for games. You had been desperate to touch him, taste him, and explore him in the same way he did to you. You sucked the tip of him and he hissed, hands going to the side of your face.
You pushed past his hands, sucking as much of him down as you could. You used your hands on the area you couldn’t get to. You spat on his dick and used it to let your hands glide better. 
“Sweet fuck,” he moaned. 
You sucked on him, remembering to breathe through your nose so that you didn’t pass out doing this. Your pussy throbbed as he continued to moan and throw his head back, rolling his neck. Your drool slipped past your lips and coated his shaft. You flicked your tongue across his tip and he jerked his hips forward.
His hands on the side of your head gripped you harder and pushed you down on his dick. Deeper than you would normally take someone. You had been worried that you would puke or something. However, you relaxed your throat and worked together to soak his dick with your saliva and make sure that he wouldn’t hurt you on entry. 
“Fuck, right there. Right there,” he moaned. 
You moaned right back, loving the way he took control of his pleasure and used you. “Let me cum in that pussy, baby,” he said.
You looked up at him and he licked his lips. You nodded. “Yef,” you said around his dick.
He slipped out of your mouth and you sucked in deep breaths. Your head was light. Floating. Soaring. You licked your lips and rubbed your cheeks to get the ache out. But Kevin grabbed you roughly and flipped you over on the bed.
“Ouee, shit,” you groaned. You sniffled. Fuck, he was ruining you for any other guy. You would never be able to have sex with anyone else ever again! Was it too early to propose? Was it too early to ask him to move into this tiny apartment with you and deliver this every night on demand? Would that scare him away? 
His large hands wrapped around your waist and pulled you back. One hand left as he guided his dick to your entrance. You sighed. There was no reason to beg him not to tease you. He wouldn’t listen either way. 
Kevin shoved inside in one hard thrust that brought those stars back to your mind’s eye. “Fuuuuuuuuuuuuh,” you moaned. 
As suspected, he slipped in easily thanks to the foreplay and you sucking him off. He groaned as he was fully seated and began rolling his hips, giving you long, deep strokes. He grinded in your pussy and you began to shake and shiver on him. 
“Throw that shit back like you want it,” he said. 
You listened, throwing it back. He was stroking so hard that you couldn’t brace yourself. You dropped down to your elbows and raised your ass higher. He moaned as he stroked deeper, hitting your sweet spot and making your toes curl. 
“Kevin, Kevin, Kevin,” you chanted.
“Yeah, I know I’m hittin’ that shit. Bounce it back,” he said.
You moved your hips faster, matching his pace. He grabbed a fistful of your hair and yanked back. Your head snapped back, a bite of pain on your scalp. “Auh, auh, auh,” you croaked.
His thrusts made your ass clap on him. “Mhm, gripping that shit,” he moaned. He twisted your hair again, yanking your head back a little more and stroking into you with precision. 
“Oue, baby, I’m gonna cum,” you moaned. “I’m cumming, baby.”
“Cum on then. Cum on this dick so I can nut in this pussy,” he said.
You cried. You exploded. You were ripped apart as the orgasm burrowed through your system. Your legs shook and twitched. Your pussy gripped him tight, making him snug as he pounded. 
Kevin continued stroking until he groaned and busted inside of you. Hot pulses of cum signed his name in the crevices of your pussy and you moaned with him. 
He slammed inside of you two more times and stilled, panting. He slowly worked his way out of you and you groaned. You immediately flopped onto the bed. Strength left you. Your energy was gone. 
Kevin’s quiet huffs let you track him through the apartment. You heard water running and then he was back, cleaning you up. You whined, crying and pushing away from him. He cooed at you and gently cleaned you up. 
Sleep tugged at you. You yawned. Kevin returned. You were putty in his hands as he moved you away from the mess you made. “I know another way to warm you up too,” he said.
“Hm,” you sighed. 
He chuckled as he got you out of the puddle. You sighed, curling up now that you were in a dry spot. Kevin placed something onto the wet spot and then got in bed with you, pulling your back into his chest. He spread out covers over you. 
You had just enough thought to take off your glasses and put it on the nightstand next to you. 
His hand came around to rest against your titty, still clad in your bra. He threw one leg over you and your body instantly warmed up. He was a space heater. You snuggled into his warmth and were out like a light, with a giant smile on your face.
The END.
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The Secret Kevin Atwater Files
420 notes · View notes
toms-cherry-trees · 7 months ago
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"Look After You" || Tommy Shelby x Reader
Summary: Time and distance cannot break certain promises
Word count: 4.2k
Tags: Mentions of war, mental asylums, unjust imprisonment, mentions of controversial mental health treatments, cross dressing (?), implications of violence against women, illness, no betareading we go in raw
Author's note: You might have seen this post where I mention the life of Dorothy Lawrence. Well this is very loosely based on her life mixed with Tommy's story. Left it very open to a part 2 if people like the premise.
(Yes my people watch me put together moodboards instead of choosing gifs)
Requested tag (hope not to disappoint) @brummiereader @emotionalcadaver
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The asylum stood tall and imponent before Tommy’s gaze, its towering central dome and flanking turrets framed by the bright sun rays of a cheerful spring afternoon. The radiant gardens contrasted dramatically with the derelict state of the building itself; rusty and broken drainpipes hanging from the roof, rotten wood frames and shattered window panes, missing chunks of brick on the walls, revealing the inner framing and plaster. Nothing about that place inspired trust to those who crossed its threshold, let alone hopes of betterment. The lamentable exterior stood like the perfect match of the decadence within.  
The smell of rot assaulted him the second he entered. The paint had started to peel off, and moisture stains crawled across walls and ceiling. Most windows in the main hall were shuttered, and the incandescent light bulbs did little to cut through the darkness, casting a sickly shadow over the room. The orderly that welcomed him in the entrance had an embittered face, and he questioned Tommy on his name, whom he was visiting and his reasons to. He patted him down and overturned his pockets, making him leave behind anything that could be used to harm or be harmed. Cap, cigar case, lighter, sleeve garters and shoelaces stayed behind while another orderly led him through long hallways and endless locked doors towards the morning hall where he’d meet the purpose of his visit.
Finally, they stopped before a wide set of oaken double doors with panels of rubbed glass, which allowed him a faint peek of what happened on the other side. The orderly barely opened the door enough to enter himself and told Tommy to wait outside, as if he feared something may escape from within given the chance. After a few minutes he returned, leaving the gap open for Tommy to pass through.
 “Sister Janice will take you to her. Don’t look at other patients. Don’t talk to other patients. If they come to you, ignore them. Don’t take anything they give you”
Perplexed, curious and mostly annoyed by all the delays, Tommy ducked under the orderly’s arm while he held the door open. As soon as he stepped inside the orderly let go, and the door closed behind him with a heavy click.
The sudden brightness hurt his eyes after the unceasing darkness, and Tommy had to squint briefly as his pupils grew accustomed to his surroundings. An ample hall stretched before him, arch windows spanning from floor to ceiling lining the west and north walls. Moth eaten draperies of blue velvet had been drawn back to allow sunlight in, in hopes of insufflating some life into the gelid heart of the asylum.
The room had surely once been a magnificent ballroom, but had now been reduced to the sad, dirty, abandoned alcove where the non-aggressive patients spent most of their waking hours, some engaged in the very few activities offered to them, others dragging their feet and mumbling to themselves like lost souls, their gazes absent and their appearance unkempt. Not one person appeared to have a coherent thought there, and Tommy wondered if it was due to their own ailments, or due to the medicines the nurses forced down their throats to keep them tame and peaceful, albeit stupid. 
As Tommy walked past, he couldn't help but notice the way his presence drew attention from them. The patients stopped in their tracks to stare at him as if he were the most marvellous wonder they had ever seen. They pointed at him, uttering incoherences and laughing at jokes no one else heard. Some tried to get close but were forced back with a sharp gesture by the nun accompanying him, whom only now Tommy noticed, carried a mean looking leather strap, hanging side by side with a rosary from her cord belt.
At long last, she came into view. Slouched on a rocking chair facing the windows, a ragged purple cardigan thrown over a white, floor length dress, resembling more a nightgown than any sort of decent clothing. A white linen cap covered her hair, and Tommy noticed that the ties had been removed, as had been from the rest of her garments. She looked thinner, thinner even than she did in France. She gave no indication that she had noticed their presence, her dulled eyes fixated on the gardens outside.
 “I have it from here, sister” Tommy dismissed the nun with a wave of his hand, dragging a nearby stool to sit next to the woman.
 “I’m sorry Mr. Shelby, but I cannot allow you to be unsupervised with a patient. She seems tame now, but who knows what atrocities a woman of sin like her might commit”
Tommy wanted to snort. She barely looked strong enough to hold herself in the chair, how could she harm anyone?
“She won’t attack me sister” Tommy insisted “Now step back, and I will make sure the asylum is handsomely rewarded for your troubles.”
The nun opened her mouth, ready to argue, but then chose against it. The asylum could do with some extra coin, after all. She straightened up and smoothed her habit, perhaps a way to reinstate her authority that Tommy had so brazenly challenged. 
“You have half an hour” She stated at last before walking away towards a group of patients who were seemingly arguing over a doll.
Tommy’s gaze returned to the woman in front of him, who continued to be absent from the world around her, and who gave no sign of life other than the steady rising and falling of her shoulders with each breath. Thomas allowed the pause to linger between them a few seconds longer, but he didn’t want to waste his allotted time. He wouldn’t put it past these people to drag him out like that; the laws of men did not apply in these sorts of places.
He called her name softly, in a nearly soothing whisper. Once, twice, thrice, yet it did not do to her more than the drafts howling through the broken panes or the maniac laughs of the patients around them. He didn’t want to touch her and risk startling her, but he didn’t want to spend his visit staring at her left cheek. He took his last chance, using this time a different name, a name he had not pronounced since 1915.
“Private Anders”
The name stirred something in her mind. Her back straightened a bit and her features quivered in recognition. Slowly, stiffly, she turned towards Tommy, her eyebrows first furrowing in confusion then rising in surprise.
“Sergeant Major?” Her shock could not be disguised, and she readied to rise and salute, but Tommy motioned for her to remain seated.
“At ease, private” 
~
Tommy recalled perfectly the first day he saw her. They were stationed near Albert, digging up a new front line as they tried to gain terrain from the Germans. The troops from the British Expeditionary Force and the 179th tunnelling company consisted mostly of coal miners, all turned sappers whose task was to ready up the land for battle. The clay rich soil basically melted between their fingers when it rained, making the digging of trenches and shelters a never-ending battle. The dampness crept up their legs and seeped into their bones, and Tommy had seen one too many soldiers whose feet rotted inside their boots. Even the strongest men, used to work from sun to sun in the depths of the coal mines breathing dust and methane, would sometimes succumb to the elements. 
Tommy worked paired with Tom Dunn, a man as thick of back as he was of skull. He could easily lift an adult man and throw him across the field like a sack of potatoes, and legend has it he pulled the coal carts in the mine when the horses couldn’t. If left to it, he could probably dig out the trench with only his hands and his helmet.
He had been the one to introduce Tommy to her. Dunn had hidden that little lunatic in an abandoned cottage, not too far from where the troops were stationed. Somehow, she had obtained a uniform, which she had padded with cotton wool to flatten her curves and broaden her shoulders. Her hair had been cut in a military style, scrapes on her cheeks simulated a shaving rash, and potassium permanganate attempted to sharpen her jaw and cheekbones with dark shadows. 
She slept in a damp mattress, with little more than a threadbare blanket to keep her warm; she had no means of acquiring something better, nor could she light a fire in the dusty hearth for fear of being discovered. Dunn had been feeding her with whatever he could spare from his own rations or snatch from others, which meant she had been eating the minimum for survival, since the woods offered nothing but naked branches at that time of year. 
Tommy had been left thunderstruck, far too much to react properly. A million questions came to his lips, and a million died there as his mind couldn’t exactly put into words what he wanted to know. His gaze flickered between them both, who looked at him pleadingly like a couple of children asking their parents to stay up late. His first instinct was to call up their superior and hand her over to them, for her own safety, but then he thought about it better. The things that could happen to her if he handed her over to the war office…and that’s it, if they handed her over in the first place, or chose to make justice themselves.
No, for the sake of her safety and his conscience, he would play along with them for now.
“What is your name?” He inquired, a simple question to cut through the gelid silence that had befallen them.
For an answer, she handed Tommy papers and a matching dog tag. Forgeries, most likely, and very good ones, which meant she spent money on those. Paying from her own pocket to go to war
They held each other's gaze for endless seconds. At long last, Tommy offered a handshake.
“Welcome to the 179th tunnelling company, Private John Anders. I’ll look after you” 
Tommy hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the meeting. The person who sat before him, hunched and dirty and completely lost to the world, bore no resemblance to the fiery, and perhaps a little unhinged, woman that had gone through every length to infiltrate herself in the front line. Years of memory seemed to have been erased from her mind, but she recalled vividly everything she went through in her time in France. She did not know the day and year she lived in but could easily recite the names of every man she met from the 179th, as well as every technique they implemented to dig out the clay.
Tommy was sure that, if he were to put a shovel in her hands, she would unconsciously start digging. 
He had partly placated his worries by placing a nurse in the asylum, one handpicked by Polly and paid out of his own pocket, to look after her. But that solution felt like not enough. Not by a mile. What that place did to her, what they were turning her into…Killing her bit by bit, stripping away her sanity to erase from her any memory she held of those weeks in the front. He still recalled the tunnel collapse, when the rain-soaked clay began to crumble over them like cold tar, obscuring their vision and sticking their feet to the ground. How the men dragged out each other, coated from head to toe in the reddish paste. She had tripped, her foot had gotten stuck, he couldn’t tell anymore. All he knew was that she had been left behind, and he had re-entered the tunnel for her. Feeling his way through the darkness, keeping an eye on the entrance, calling her name out; her fake name, for even in the face of danger he had the mental fortitude to remember the importance of her cover up. How she dropped her own facade, her fearful voice calling him as she stretched her arm towards him.
Tommy, Tommy, Tommy
“Tommy!” Billowed an angered female voice, dragging his thoughts back to the present time. 
Tommy squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, attempting to dissipate the fogs of the past that laid over them. Because he was not in the tunnels, nor in the Western front. He was sitting in his office, behind his desk, nursing a whiskey in his hands and with Polly sitting across him, equally angered and perplexed at her nephew’s inattention.
“You know I don’t appreciate my words being wasted”. It sounded like a threat, but half of the things Polly said usually did “If you had no interest in this briefing, you could have rescheduled our meeting”.
“You hate your time being wasted” Tommy pointed out.
“Which is exactly what you’re doing now” She remarked.
Silence lingered in the office while Polly lit a new cigarette and Tommy downed his drink, which had already begun to warm in his hands. He stood to pour another, which he finished almost immediately.
“So” Polly began, exhaling the smoke in an elegant blow “Will you tell me what’s on your mind?” As usual, Polly could see through him as easily as one would do through a clean glass. It unnerved him sometimes, to be laid open so vulnerably under her watchful gaze.
“It’s nothing” Tommy sat before the fire; hands laced behind his head in an attempt to seem relaxed.
“There’s been many things on your mind, Tommy, and nothing has never been one of them”. Polly’s slender fingers ran across the glass bottles on the bar cart before settling on gin, pouring herself a more than generous serving.
“You’re thinking of her”.
Tommy immediately thought of denying it, but what was the point? When Polly knew, no one could tell her otherwise. And as much as he hated others meddling in his business, the words came tumbling before he could hold them back.
“I’m just worried. She’s not the same she used to be. I don’t know what they do to her in that place, but she’s changed. Those medicines they give her, and who knows what else they’ve done. You know the treatments” He shook his head, as if to dismiss everything he said “Just worried” 
“It’s been many years since you last saw her. Everyone changed after the war. God knows you did”.
“This is not the same. They’re killing her there” Tommy stared up at the ceiling, as if hoping to find a solution to his problems in the plaster. Polly only watched him, pondering over her next words carefully. She only hoped she would not regret whatever her nephew chose to do next.
“If her wellbeing worries you so, you have to do the right thing”
He frowned, turning to look at her with confusion clear in his eyes. Polly sipped the gin, swirling it around her mouth as she gave it a last thought. This was one of the far and few times in which Tommy proved he had a heart, and that softened her as well.
“If you are worried, you act. If they’re killing her in there, you get her out”
~
The sun had finally shone upon the soldiers after nearly a week of bad weather, when rain and fog had turned the living conditions in the trenches into nearly inhumane. The soldiers were happy, for they would no longer shiver until their bones ached, and they would at last be able to put their clothes and themselves to dry. The tunnellers were less than pleased, for the sun had dried the clay into a solid wall, forcing them to exhaust their muscles to dig out chunks the size of their heads while the sweat ran down their temples and backs. Their comrades kept them supplied with water, but it felt like pouring water on a bottomless bucket. 
Tommy worked side by side with her. Him. Her. Her identity still got tied in his mind, and he had to think through every word addressed in her direction for fear of blowing her cover. He watched her out of the corner of the eye as she swung the pickaxe with a strength and determination he never expected to see in a woman. Despite her resilience, Tommy worried about her, and kept a watchful gaze for any sign of exhaustion. She could not afford to be taken ill or injured, for a trip to the medical tent would be enough to unravel all her carefully crafted lies. He had to take care of her.
They both worked in the very end of the trench, and the sounds around them would conceal any hushed conversation. Tommy’s curiosity was stronger than his willpower
“Why?”
She didn’t react at first, and Tommy thought she either didn’t listen to him, or chose to ignore him, both of which were valid. But before he could ask again, she whispered back, keeping her manly tone
“Why what?”
“Why come here? What sane person would come here, on her own free will, to be forced into coldness and starvation? Risk your life, and for what purpose? Couldn’t find good places to dig back in England?”
She snorted, the sound quite lighter than any man’s laugh, so she concealed it by clearing her throat
“I wanted to serve my country, same as you. Is there any sin on that?”
“Is that what you tell yourself at night to sleep?”
She stopped digging for a moment, leaving the pickaxe embedded in the clay. She sat in the upturned bucket they used as stool, wiping the sweat from her brow with her sleeve. She couldn’t work shirtless, and their uniforms had been made to shield from the cold only. Tommy offered her water; she drank a sip and poured the rest on her head. He noticed her hair had grown again, and curled behind her ears. He made a mental note to give her a trim after nightfall.
“I just wanted to see what it was like. What it really was. They don’t tell us the truth back home. The newspapers make it sound as if the front is almost peaceful and the men are just laying back eating turkey while the Germans fall a hundred a day. I wanted the truth, and I want to write about it. Make a book of all the lies they fed us home.”
Her reasoning didn’t sit well with him. All that effort, that trouble, that risk, just to figure out if war was as bad as she thought? Mad, mad in the head this one.
“And what does your family think you’re doing away from home?”
She scratched her chin, in the same way Tommy did when he got a shaving rash from his blunt razors. She had picked up male mannerisms quite fast, particularly his own
“Not much family left to care what I do or stop doing. I said I’d come to France to volunteer as a nurse, but they most likely think I came as a camp follower. If they knew what I’m up to, they would have me committed to the closest madhouse”
“The madhouse is where you belong” Tommy replied, albeit jokingly, as he stopped his work to pull out a cigarette from his pocket. But he was interrupted by a ball of clay being tossed at his face with masterful precision, dampened for maximum effect.
“Shut up, Sergeant Major”
 ~
Blue skies and a pleasant breeze welcomed them at the gates of Arrow House. Tommy chose to drive this time, taking the advice from the doctor who would oversee her care, who suggested she be exposed to the least amount of people possible during the first days as she adjusted to life outside. Only Tommy, Frances and the nurse who would be her primary caretaker.
She stared at the world around her with such wonder, like a blind whose sight had been restored. Every tree, every bird, the very landscape that surrounded his manor brought such wonder onto her face, like a child with a Christmas tree. Her happiness almost managed to convince him that this was, in fact, a good idea. 
When Polly told him to get her out, he knew she meant to put her in a home of her own, with a caretaker, and allow her to have a life of her own. And Tommy considered the idea, for a while. To place her in a nice neighbourhood, in a house with a garden and a balcony where she could enjoy the sun, with a nurse and maids and a car. But it didn’t sit right with him. She had been alone ever since they took her. Imprisoned until the war ended, and then released only to be taken to the madhouse at first chance. Not one familiar face around her for nearly a decade. No, Tommy wouldn’t take her out of a cage just to put her back in a smaller, prettier one. She needed someone to protect her. And for better or worse, that one could only be Tommy. 
When the car came to a halt, she was the first one out, gaping at the imponent state which Tommy owned. 
“Is this where you live, Sergeant Major?” The wonder was palpable in her voice. But the only thing Tommy noticed was that after everything she still couldn’t find it in her to call him by his name.
“2000 acres of land, of which 12 are just garden, and 750 acres of farming land”
She cocked an eyebrow, and in the amused twinkle of her eyes Tommy saw a glimpse of the one she used to be.
“Are you a farmer now, sir?” She disguised her laugh behind the handkerchief she insisted on carrying, looking down like a bashful schoolgirl.
Tommy pulled out a cigarette; he felt the corner of his lips pulled into the shadow of a smile, pleased to see her spirits lifted.
“My business is more focused on progress and modernity, but I wouldn’t reject the idea. Perhaps one day it’ll come in hand to have crops and cows”
“That would be the bloody day” She didn’t even try to hide her laughter this time “Our mighty Sergeant Major, dressed in overalls and with mud up to his knees shovelling cow shit”
“I find myself more interested in horse shit these days. Come on, I’ll show you around” 
Tommy gave her a complete tour of the house and adjacent grounds, both to show her everything that would be at her complete disposal, and also as a way to show off how far he had come since they were both in the trenches, hunched over a meagre fire lit inside an empty can and sharing a homemade cigarette made from tobacco leftovers. Her eyes were wide with wonder, her fingers running over tapestries, leathers and carved wood with childlike wonder
He saved her room for last. A wide bedroom at the very back of the house, situated in a corner with plenty of windows. It had a view of the back of the state, so she could enjoy the gardens, the horses and the surrounding woods. In the corner with the most sunlight Tommy had placed a writing desk, supplied with paper, pens, ink and a brand new typewriter. Amidst everything sat a bunch of old and worn pages, all of different sizes and materials, kept together nicely with leather cord. She picked it up gingerly, running her thumb over the first page. Even though the paper was stained and dusty, the words could be read as easily as the first day she wrote them.
Tears flooded her eyes, and she hugged the improvised diary to her chest like it was a most prized possession. And perhaps it was. She turned towards Tommy, a mixture of bewilderment and eternal gratitude plastered on her features
“Where did you get it? I thought they would have had it destroyed when they locked me up”
Tommy only smirked, pulling out a cigarette from the golden case he carried “Remember what I told you? Always make sure someone owes you something”
That gesture, so small yet so meaningful, shifted something inside her. Her eyes brimmed with tears she attempted to fight, but they won in the end. She practically jumped into Tommy’s arms, hugging him with the eagerness of a person who has been denied a caring touch for far too long.
“How will I ever be able to thank you enough, Sergeant Major?”
His free arm circled her frame, returning the gesture
“You can start by calling me Tommy”
~
Worry crept up Tommy’s spine as the higher ups did their rounds to inspect the work on the freshly dug trenches. It had been three days since she last showed up, and he would soon run out of lies to cover up for “Private Anders’” absence. 
As much as she tried to deny it, finally the harsh conditions had caught up to her. Her health had gone down a slippery slope with the arrival of winter. First it had been just a fretless dry cough, easily softened with pine tea. But then came the bone pains, the headaches, the constant fatigue. The dampness of her safe haven had seeped into her bones and caused some sort of rheumatism. Tommy noticed the swelling of her hands as they struggled to grip the pickaxe. Her hair began to fall out in clumps.
The shivers and the fever had finally knocked her off her feet. She had been unable to leave her cottage, which in turn worsened her condition even further. Tommy had tried to bring her something more substantial to eat, but she seemed unable to eat more than a few bites of stale bread dipped in some coffee the Americans had given them. Dry, suffocating coughs racked her body until she had to gasp for air, her teeth and lips speckled with blood.
“This is the end line” She had mumbled weakly during the third night, while Tommy tried to desperately convince her to light a fire to warm and dry the place
“No. You are not going to die. I won’t allow it. I told you I’d take care of you” He stated firmly, sitting on the floor by her side with her hand in his, his other one cupping her feverish cheek. He had been in a similar spot, not too long ago. Watching life fade away from a young woman’s eyes. He refused to let her die, not like that, not there where he would have to dump her body in the river.   
“I am not going to die” She stated with a conviction her current condition didn’t match “But to survive, I have to turn myself in”
The idea of handing her over to the war office filled Tommy with panic
“No, no you cannot do that. Do you have any idea what they could do to you? Your best prospect would be to be thrown in jail, to be given 10 years for impersonating a soldier. And that’s if the higher ups are feeling compassionate” He shuddered at thinking what those wolves would do to her “Listen, I get leave tomorrow night. I’ll go to the nearest town, get some medicine, maybe I can pawn some things and get you a new blanket. You-”
“No” With great effort, she propped herself up in one elbow. Tommy couldn’t help but notice the strands of hair left in the pillow “I’ve implicated you long enough. The excuses and lies you have made for me are enough to have you dishonourably discharged and tried. You have done everything you could for me, and for that I am  forever indebted to you, Sergeant Major. This next chapter in my life, I have to write it alone”
She sounded dejected and disappointed, as if she had failed some unwritten expectation of her adventure. But Tommy thought quite the opposite. He only felt admiration for the things she had put herself through in order to tell her story. He still thought she was mad in the head, but in a completely different way
“Will you mention my name when you write your book?” He asked jokingly, helping her lay back down slowly, pulling the ragged blanket up to her chin
“Only if you want to be jailed next to me for helping an intruder” She laughed, but the sound was cut short by another fit of coughing “I’ll dedicate it to you, Sergeant Major. Everything I write and do will be because of you”
~
Tommy awoke with a startle. His eyes were wide open, darting around the room as he tried to locate the source of the disturbance. Everything seemed to be calm in his room. And then it happened again. A dry thud in the wall, followed by a muffled scream.
In a heartbeat he was out of bed, gun in hand. He followed the noises, which seemed to grow louder the closer he got to her bedroom. The door was ajar, allowing a sliver of moonlight to project in the floor, in which Tommy could see two shadows moving.
He stormed inside, gun ready to fire. But he didn’t find an intruder, no. Just her, on her knees, banging her fists against the wall as she screamed. Her nurse stood by her side, amidst a disaster of clothes and books and other objects, unsuccessfully trying to coax her back to bed
“Miss, please. The hour is quite late. You need sleep”
“No, no. The walls are coming down. We have to get out, the roof’s collapsing!” She yelled desperately, clawing at the wall trying to dig herself out of some dark place that only existed in her head. He saw her nails tear the wallpaper with ferocity. And then he noticed the nurse unlocking a cabinet and pulling out a syringe
“No” He said almost immediately as he put a firm hand on the nurse’s arm “Go to bed. I have this”
“But Mr. Shelby!”
“I said go. Leave me with her”
The nurse doubted, holding his gaze, but chose to exit the room, closing the door behind her.
Tommy walked towards her slowly, afraid he would startle her. He gingerly touched her arm, but his presence went as unnoticed as a speck of dust. He called out her name, again and again, without success. The mud had seeped deep in her brain, as it had done his, and blocked her senses from the outside world. In order to get through, Tommy had to get into the mud with her
He stood tall, in martial position, hands behind his back
“Private Anders!”
Quick like a lightning bolt, she stood up and saluted in a firm position. Tears streaked her face and her entire body quivered like an autumn leaf
“Sergeant Major sir!”
“At ease, private. You are relieved of your duties. Time to go back home”
Like the lifting of a spell, her eyes glossed over as she blinked slowly, looking around her from the bed, to the things she had thrown around in haste, and finally towards Tommy. Her lower lip quivered
“What is happening to me?”
Her knees faltered. Tommy lunged forward before she could hit herself, coming down to the floor with her held in his arms. She burrowed herself in his chest, her fingers clinging to his shirt as she wept, her body racked by sobs. Tommy shushed her quietly, his fingers carding through her hair
“Don’t cry. I’ll take care of you”
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population9973 · 8 months ago
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colour me blue - luke danes
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luke danes x fem!reader
warnings: drinking, age gap maybe (no ages given but luke is around 35 in season 1)
summary: you help luke paint the diner after he gets stood up
word count: 1.9k
you were in a particularly good mood this evening as you walked through town, even with the chill in the air nipping at you through your jacket. you had the day off work since luke, your boss, had closed the diner to do some work inside. despite his gruff exterior, you and luke had been friends for almost as long as you’d lived in stars hollow. you moved to the small town a year ago after a bad breakup and it took some time, but you had become quite close with luke. when you needed a job, he offered to let you help out at the diner for a few hours a week, and after a while he just got used to having you around.
as you approached the diner on your way through town, you were surprised to see luke standing outside the door, looking just about as cold as you were; or worse.
“luke?” you asked as you walked up to him.
“hey,” he replied, his hands in the pockets of his faded jeans, and a vest overtop of one of his many flannel shirts.
“what are you doing out here? shouldn’t you be painting?” you asked, peering inside at the cans of paint he’d brought in earlier.
“uh, yeah just - getting some fresh air, you know…. the fumes and all,” he gestured to the air in front of his face, and you gave him a look.
“luke, you haven’t started - all the paint is exactly where it was this morning and all the walls are the same colour,” you pointed out, not sure why he was being dishonest.
“i started!” he argued. “i took everything off the walls.”
“you did that earlier,” you reminded him.
“i didn’t say when i started,” he shrugged, looking at his shoes.
“luke, what’s going on? i thought you said lorelai was coming to help you paint tonight.”
“she is. was. she’s uh… not feeling good.”
“luke, you don’t have to lie to me. i thought you guys had a date?,” you said, placing a hand on his shoulder.
“she ditched me, there, happy?” he grumbled, rolling his eyes. “and it wasn’t a date,” he insisted.
“no, i wouldn’t say happy,” you replied. something big must have come up for lorelai to stand him up. they were best friends, and you were pretty convinced they might be into eachother. you could see why she’d like him; despite the grumpy personality. he was tall, handsome, and kind. you’d kill to have someone look at you they way he looked at her. “come on, let’s go inside, it’s cold.”
“nah, just go home. it’s okay,” he tried to brush it off, but i was obvious that he was hurt by her not showing up. you couldn’t imagine standing up a guy like him, whether it had been a date or not.
“luke come on. hey, i’ll help you paint,” you offered, pushing his tall frame towards the door.
“no, you don’t want to -“
“i do, now come on, before i lose my toes please?” you pleaded, giving him your best puppy dog eyes. he caved instantly; everytime.
“alright fine, let’s go,” he put his hand on your lower back, ushering you inside and away from the frigid air.
“okay, now i think the fumes are actually getting to me, let’s take a break,” luke suggested, pinching the bridge of his nose. it had been about two hours of painting, and you were indeed ready to rest for a minute or two.
“my arms are tired,” you sighed, and sat down on the floor, your back against the front of the bar counter; all the chairs had been stacked to make room for painting. luke took a seat on the floor next to you, and you bumped his shoulder with yours.
“what?” he asked, trying to sound annoyed but failing.
“it’s gonna look really nice when it’s done luke.”
“you think so?” he asked, and you nodded, turning your head to face him.
“if you want i can help you put all the stuff back on the walls after.”
“you’ve done enough to help me, you don’t have to-“
“luke, i know i don’t have to. i want to,” you assured him, and he smiled. “why are too looking at me like that?”
“you have-“ he reached his hand towards you, brushing his thumb across your cheekbone softly. “-paint on you face.”
“really? well-“ you reached over to the paint tray on the floor near you and swiped your finger through the green paint, before wiping it on luke’s nose. “now so do you,” you smiled.
luke shook his head, but a soft grin remained plastered on his face, his gaze soft as he looked at you.
forget the way he looked at lorelai, the way he looked at you sure was something special; not that you’d noticed.
“you’re in for it now,” he reached for his paintbrush on the table, giving you time to stand up to attempt and escape, but he was faster than you, wrapping his arms around you from behind.
“luke, wait i’m sorry!” you laughed, but it was too late. he swiped the paintbrush across the front of your t shirt; it was one of his his he’d given you to wear so you didn’t get paint on your clothes, coincidentally.
“okay, now we’re even,” he smiled. “told ya you shouldn’t wear that nice shirt of yours. it’s your favourite i would hate for something to happen to it.”
“how did you know it’s my favourite?” you asked, and he flushed slightly, a panicked look crossing his face.
“i don’t know, you wear it a lot and it looks nice on you, so i figured it must be your favourite.”
“it looks nice on me?” you teased, and his cheeks turned a darker shade of pink.
“yeah - nice.”
“thanks,” you said genuinely. it was your favourite shirt, you just hadn’t expected him to know that.
“you’re welcome,” he replied.
“here, hang on,” you giggled softly, and his eyes watched you as you weaved through the plastic sheets and furniture until you were behind the counter. you rummaged around until you found a paper towel and gestured for luke to lean over the countertop.
“what are you-“ he asked, as you grabbed his chin in her hand, before wiping the paint on his nose. “thanks,” he mumbled, missing your touch on his face as soon as it was gone.
“we better get back to work. we’ll be here forever at this rate,” you sighed.
“yeah,” he said softly. “hey careful,” he said in a worried tone as you stood on a chair to reach the top of the wall. his large hands landed on your hips, holding you steady, and you realized you liked his hands being there.
“thanks,” you breathed, the chair leg wobbling slightly under you.
“yeah well, if you fall and break your neck it’ll be an insurance nightmare-“
“luke?”
“what?”
“thanks,” you repeated, and he stopped rambling. “help me down?” you asked, and he held you steady as you stepped down onto the floor. when both feet were firmly planted on solid ground, you expected him to let go, but his fingertips lingered on your waist.
“you can let go now,” you smiled, but he didn’t, he took a step closer to you instead, leaving only a few inches between your bodies. “luke..”
“thank you, for… helping me,” he said softly, like he found it difficult to say the words.
“you’re welcome,” you smiled. “besides, you never know, maybe it was all just an elaborate plan to get you to hang out with me,” you teased.
“you could’ve asked,” he replied.
“asked what?”
“asked me to hang out with you. if that’s what you wanted.”
“yeah?” you asked nervously, reaching up to fiddle with one of the buttons on his shirt.
“yeah,” he said, barely above a whisper as he stared down at you with that look in his eyes again. a look that said i’m crazy about you.
“what would you have said?” you asked, and he smiled.
“you know i can’t say no to you,” luke replied.
“are you sure? because i swear you’ve-“ he interrupted you with a soft kiss, his lips brushing against yours gently before he pulled back. there was a brief silence after, both of you just looking at eachother.
“you should do that again,” you whispered, and he did, deeper this time as he held you close, his arms around your back as you held the front of his shirt. you separated again, and luke rested his forehead on yours, a smile on both of your faces.
“we really should get back to painting…”
“you’re probably right,” he agreed, letting you go reluctantly. “you know when i’ve thought about asking you on a date, painting this place was not what i had in mind.”
“you’ve thought about asking me on a date?” you asked, your cheeks beginning to hurt from smiling so much.
“every damn day.”
the two of you painted for nearly three more hours before you realized the time, and luke insisted you call it a night.
“alright, i think i’ll actually go crazy if i smell paint for another minute. do you want a drink?” he asked, and you nodded, throwing in the metaphorical towel as well.
luke returned with two beers, popping the cap of one before handing it to you and then opening his.
“thanks,” you tapped the bottle against his with a clink, and he smiled. you walked outside to sit on the front step, and luke noticed you shivering almost immediately.
“come here,” he mumbled, putting his arm out for you to lean into his side. you rested your head on his shoulder, warmer already with his body against yours.
“thanks. i had a lot of fun tonight.”
“yeah? well we’ve probably got a few more days of painting left if you want to come back tomorrow…” he offered. “only if you want to though.”
“i’d like that,” you smiled. “what about lorelai? i thought she wanted to help?” you asked, still not sure exactly how the other woman felt about him.
“what about her?” he asked innocently. “it doesn’t seem like it was all that important to her considering she never showed up.”
“luke…” you could tell he was still a bit upset about her ditching their plans.
“i’m sure something important came up or she would’ve came,” he said genuinely.
“yeah you’re right. and you two are…”
“just friends,” he finished your sentence, a slight smile on his face.
“okay. i believe you,” you said, and you did. luke kissed the side of your head reassuringly, and you leaned closer to him.
“so i’ll see you here at seven am then? bright and early so we can get more work done?” he said, and for a second you thought he was serious. the smile on his face told you otherwise.
“can we push it to nine? my boss works me like a dog so i never get to sleep in-“ you teased him.
“hey,” he warned playfully. “it’s weird to think of me as your boss if we’re…. well,” he trailed off.
“you don’t have to be my boss - we could just work together but you’re in charge?” you suggested teasingly.
“so like a boss?”
“yeah,” you smiled, kissing his lips softly. “so nine am?” you asked, and he smiled, his eyes admiring your face again.
“it’s a date.”
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noproofread · 1 month ago
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God Complex (NSFW)
"I'm gonna be where you are, doesn't matter how far because we are meant to be"
i just knew how i wanted this fic to go after listening to this song. thank you @vangowithit for the pointers <3
Trafalgar Law x afab!reader
mentions of alcohol, witchcraft, obsession, cnc, oral, unprotected sex, creampie, reader has become infatuated with Law and puts a spell on him to make him feel the same way.
masterlist here
word count: 1,402
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The lights were dim in your room. Only lit by the faint flame atop a candle placed ever so carefully on your altar, flickering with every breath you took. The cut out pictures and wanted posters scattered on the wall, all of him. You waited patiently, you had completed the spell a few days ago and were sure it had worked. You fiddled with the rose quarts anxiously. You had to have him. You had grown obsessive over this pirate that you had never met. Muffled chatter outside of your house grew louder, people clamoring that a pirate ship had docked nearby. No, not a pirate ship. A pirate sub. He was here.
Trafalgar Law was here.
You dressed yourself in red, tantalizing red. You sprayed yourself with perfume and made your way outside. You walked towards the dock. The sky was painted a dark shade of charcoal blue, only illuminated by the bright moon inhabiting the sky. As you got closer to the dock, the breeze dropped in temperature. You saw it. The Polar Tang. Excitement bottled up inside you. All of your hard work had paid off and you were about to reap the benefits. You stood nearby, simply waiting to make contact with the target of your desire. You watched as the Polar Tang moved with the waves, just as a figure emerged from inside. A man standing at 6’3, you knew it exactly. You locked eyes with him for a brief moment before darting away into a tavern nearby. You knew he would follow.
And he did.
You took a seat by the bar and shortly after, so did he. “Can I buy you a drink?” Law asked. You smiled at him and nodded yes. You scanned him, taking in every detail as he ordered for the both of you. He was perfect. His black hair peeking out from under his hat framed his face beautifully. His tall and slender physique with his muscles subtly outlined by his fitted clothes. His hands. His tattooed hands, you wondered how they would feel wrapped around you. Touching every part of you.
He handed you a drink, looking into your eyes with intrigue. “I’m Traf-” “Trafalgar Law. I know. You’re pretty famous.” You winked at him causing him to chuckle. “I guess so.” There was a small pause before he spoke again. “Sorry if this is forward but, my crew and I just got here and I’d rather not stay in the ship. Would you mind if I stay with you?” His voice dropped low, leaning in to whisper the last part in your ear. Immediately feeling your arousal pool under you. You smirked at him. “You can stay with me.” You took a sip of your drink, the strong liquor coating your tastebuds. You placed the glass back on the bar before getting up and taking Law’s hand.
You guided him to your house. His hand was bigger than yours. Rough and warm. You traced his tattoos with your thumb, earning a soft laugh. It was music to your ears. As you arrived, you turned around to face him. A short moment of silence as you looked into his eyes quickly turned into a thick tension. Your breathing had become heavy as he leaned closer to you. The anticipation of feeling his lips on yours was killing you but you savored the moments leading up to it. His lips crashed onto yours, kissing you hungrily. Waiting no time to push his tongue inside your mouth, massaging your own. A moan threatened to escape your throat as he placed his hands on your lower back, pulling you closer to him.
He was drawn to you. From the moment he docked on your island. He felt like the island had been calling out to him. He didn’t know what it was about you that made you so irresistible. But you knew. You knew it well. You stumbled back to the door. He pushed against you, looking for the doorknob behind you. Once opened, you tripped back prompting Law to tighten his grip to keep you from falling. He slammed the door shut behind him, breaking away for a moment. The two of you panting for air, caught in the moment. “Where is your room?” His question sounded more like a demand. You wasted no time, taking his hand and leading him once more.
Law didn’t see the altar nearby. He didn’t notice it, being blinded by the lust he felt. Once in your room he wasted no time to throw you onto your bed. He took off the shirt he was wearing, revealing his tattoos that contrasted with his tan skin. You needed him. You didn’t want to wait much longer. You pulled on his pants, taking them off yourself. Seeing the outline of his hardened cock below his boxers. You salivated, thinking of all the pleasure you would finally be bringing him. You wanted him to cum because of you, all for you.
You traced your hands down his abs, feeling him tense up the closer you got to his weeping erection. Law sucked in a breath as you grazed him, teasing him a little before taking the only barrier between your mouth and his bare body off of him.
You took him in your mouth, hollowing out your cheeks to accommodate him. You started off slow, wanting him to reach out and grab a fistful of your hair. “Fuck that feels good.” He groaned in pleasure. He began thrusting into your mouth, his cock hitting the back of your throat as tears formed in your eyes. You watched as Law unraveled in front of you. You wanted to make him cum like this, but he had different plans. Law pulled out your mouth, a string of saliva still connecting you to him. “Get on your back.” He growled. You obliged, lifting up your bottoms to allow him a full view of your arousal dampening your lingerie underneath. He pulled it to the side, giving your pussy a long lick. You moaned loudly, a flash of pleasure washing over you.
Law licked your clit, using his tongue to trace circles over it. You reached over, knocking the hat off his head to grab onto his hair. He dipped his tongue into you, earning more sounds of pleasure from you. His hands firmly gripping your thighs as you writhed under him, reaching a climax. You looked down at him, watching him eat you out as if he was a starving man. You lost yourself in ecstasy as you rode out your high on his face. He smiled, licking his lips in satisfaction. You pulled him onto you, his body pressing yours down into the mattress.
“I want you inside of me.” You whispered in his ear. Law moaned at your request, feeling his cock throb in anticipation of feeling you wrap around him. He positioned himself at your entrance, pushing his head in agonizingly slow. He hissed through his teeth as he squeezed into you. You swallowed him up, gasping as you felt him enter you completely. He thrust into you, keeping a steady pace. You wrapped your legs around him, feeling Law’s hand grip onto your thigh. He buried his head in your neck, moaning into your ear as his pleasure built. You ran your nails down his back, feeling yourself get close to a second orgasm.
“You feel so fucking good” Law twitched within you. You closed your eyes, unable to hold back. “Cum in me please.” You moaned loudly as you came undone under him. His cock shooting his hot cum into you as your walls tightened around him. He thrust a couple more times, coming down from his high.
He pulled out of you, feeling his cum leaking out of you. Law collapsed on your side, catching his breath. He chuckled softly, a breathy “fuck” slipping from his lips. You turned to face him, placing a gentle kiss on his lips. “If that’s how my stay here is gonna go, I’m not sure I’d ever wanna leave” Law laughed. You giggled in response, biting your lip. This was everything you wanted, and more. You got up, looking back at Law on your bed. “Care to join me in the shower?” You asked. He chuckled in disbelief before sitting up. “You’re trouble.” He teased, following you into the bathroom.
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x-blue-spring-x · 20 days ago
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Omg i dreamt that a random being came to me at night when I was in bed and started fooling around with my body. I kept my eyes closed because I was scared, but he was pretty good at it so I got horny and into it.
He started fucking me slowly but deep, with a long, smooth not too thick cock, and it was goooood. I started groping his body, because duh, and it kept changing between forms- from a super buff guy to something less human and more gelatinous??
Then he switched from my pussy to my ass, and to help the transition, some kind of soft and wet protrusion was rubbing my clit a lot like a tongue would, then he stayed in his buff form to fuck me like that. Omg it was amazing. He also asked me to look at him. Since he was staying in his muscley man mood, i looked and wasn’t quite sure what i was looking at, other than a buff dusty dark purple skinned monster. Whatever counted as a mouth came down and latched to my right nipple, sending me into overwhelming pleasure that i was simultaneously trying to escape and have more of.
I only wish i was able to stay in the dream longer to come. Alas, I woke up before that could happen. In any case, i kinda like to think thats how fucking a gentle sukuna would be like, except sukuna would have a thick monster cock obviously, and probably two of them.
Oh i just remembered! I was begging the monster to change his form to have two cocks! Imagine that, a cock for each hole, sukunas tummy tongue to play with your clit and grind on, and him trying to suck your soul out of your tit.
For some reason i felt like i had to share this with you.
I am so glad you shared this with me my bby! My first JJK ask I could cry!!
Here’s some very gentle Sukuna for you ❤️
He doesn’t come to you often, the king of curses, yet most nights you find yourself waiting for him.
Not a soul knows about your strange guest. Every shared breath is trapped between you and him in a silent lovers promise. The people in your village would be frightened, and admittedly you thought it was a sign of an impending apocalypse when you first saw him, stood at the end of your sleeping pad. Impossibly tall, four arms muscle bound and ringed with the blackest ink, his red eyes had gazed at you through the velvet darkness, seeking and searching for something unknown.
He smelt of death wrapped in a smile, cinders and ashes against the heaviest amber. Intoxicating, it made your head swim, all thoughts muddied and confused like the banks of a river after heavy rains. Perhaps that was part of his strange charm, the heady drunkenness you feel in his presence, enough arrogance to drown in and a wide mouth that curls across pointed, sharp teeth.
Still, the power he holds over you, over the lands your people farm daily, is enough to encourage you to spread your thighs for him. To give the monster softness, somewhere gentle to rest for a few hours before he disappears into the mists again. You would be lying if you said it was just that through. He’s insatiable, hungry and brimming with furious need, but beyond that there’s a curious softness displayed only to you and no other. For you are chosen, special above all humans. Marked in a way that leaves no room for argument.
Dreamlike, the low moon paints everything in a blue cast, cool and dappled through the thin walls of your room. The nights are drawing in, a chill settling over the forests and mountains surrounding the small place you know as home. Your breath is steady, a little tug of the sheets to cover your shoulder. Then you hear it, the creak of the wood under his heavy feet, a scent of smoke clinging to the midnight air.
Sitting up, you’re confronted by the full breadth of him, chest rising and falling rapidly with the promise of what’s to come. He tilts his head, cat like. Those duplicate crimson eyes blinking lazily at you, dark lashes fanned under them.
Quietly you shrink from under the soft cotton, inviting him closer without needing to speak. His nose twitches as he inhales, a smile curving across his broad mouth until his sharp teeth snare his bottom lip.
“So eager. Did you miss me?” Voice a low rumble, thunder purring beneath the surface of it, Sukuna regards you. There’s something burning in his face, a hunger that he’s never able to satisfy when it comes to you, so pliant and weak in his wide palms and under the bite of his canines.
Your response is a nod, shy and timid as it’s been months since you last welcomed him into your bed. The jet coloured markings across his body seem to grow darker, framing a jawline cut like glass. He lets out a low purr, padding towards your mattress while his stare narrows, taking in the flesh ripe for him, your body the only altar that’s ever seen a being like Sukuna sink to his knees. Your mouth meets his, hot and heavy, never the gentle soft kisses you expect from a moonlit visitor. His tongue flicks against yours almost at once, so greedy, wholly devoid of propriety or valour.
Sukuna pins your body beneath his vast one, lower arms making short work of your night clothes as he dominates your lips, sucking until they tingle and bruise under him. His upper hands find purchase in your hair, tugging your face closer still roughly, winding against your scalp until you let out a whine of protest.
When your eyes flutter open he’s watching you, both pairs zeroed in on your expression, as his broad lower palms grip the meat of your hips.
“Don’t be rough.” You whisper. It’s a strange feeling, understanding that no other could ever demand a thing from him without receiving instant death in result. He’s still holding your locks tightly, forcing your throat close to his grinning mouth. Sukuna doesn’t look angry, instead he seems faintly surprised, probably because the nature of your relationship has been mainly carnal as opposed to intellectual.
“I know no other way.”
His voice is husky, strained even. So carefully you run your own fingers across shoulders bound by ridged strength. He purrs again, this time lower and far more gentle.
You jump slightly as a droplet of saliva hits your stomach, threading its way along the skin of your navel. The mouth on his torso matches his grin, the huge tongue lolling and seeking out the hot scent of your tight cunt. Wantonly you angle your hips up to meet it, allowing it purchase on your mound until the wetness trickles lower and you whimper at the feeling.
Sukuna lets out a noise of fierce approval, rearing up to slot your pussy against his torso, watching the way his tongue immediately dives into the heat of your core, the thick muscle lathing unforgiving strokes along your seams.
“Fuck!” He exhales, lowered eyes closing briefly with ecstasy, pale pink hair bleached white in the low light. “My little human whore did miss me then.”
Always darkly possessive, Sukuna’s thick fingers bite harshly into your thighs, spreading you wide as his lower mouth traces circles on your clit. Gasping, you grip his forearms, feeling the tendons bunch and release beneath his skin. Lights start to pop under your eyes, knees shaking so violently it makes him laugh. A vicious chuckle without any shred of sympathy. Without warning his upper set of hands find your throat, tugging you upwards and into the safe embrace of his lower limbs. You moan at that, wrenched away from the pulse of his broad tongue, the spit mixing with your slick is so viscous it drenches the mat beneath you.
Sukuna lets a tsk out at your moans. Clicking his teeth as you struggle to collect yourself, so close and yet so far from the sweet release you’ve craved.
“On my cocks, or not at all.” Face to face his whirling stare glimmers, lids heavy with the need to sink inside you.
He spits onto one palm, wrapping an arm around you and probing your tight, puckered hole. Massaging and rubbing until he can slip one thick finger in and then two. Vaguely you realise he’s showing kindness in his own way, lessening the intensity of having to take one of his shafts without any preparation.
You can feel them, heavy and dripping with creamy pre-spend as they rest between your legs. Sukuna draws you up closer to him, binding your arms tight to your sides and sliding his cocks between your thighs, coating himself in wetness until a rasping groan leaves the back of his throat.
“So fucking drenched.” Briefly his tattooed forehead rests against yours, like he’s struggling to master himself. Then with no warning, he’s breaching your body, cocks probing and parting your sticky flesh until you almost feel them in your throat. It’s almost too much, you’re so full of him, his scent clinging to your skin and filling your nose like incense. You push backwards against his chest, asking for patience, for some distraction from the burning stretch of him.
“Shhh.” His mouth finds the shell of your ear, warm air making you shiver as he opens you up for himself. That vast mouth on his stomach finds your clit again and you keen, sympathetically rolling your hips as you seek the right amount of pressure to bring yourself down from the ledge of overstimulation. It doesn’t take long for you to grow bolder, digging your nails into his marked back, begging for a movement on his side that will send you tipping off the precipice of perfection.
“Beg me.” His coarse, deep voice sounds far away as he starts to meet your feeble thrusts with the power of his own hips. “Beg me to let you cum.”
“Pp-lease!” You stammer without pausing to think. “Please my lord!”
Sukuna groans into your hair, lower arms still holding you tightly while his weighty palm contracts around your throat. He’s fucking you now without holding back, sinking deep until you drench his balls, the tongue beneath his mouth moving ceaselessly.
“Milk my cocks then, remind me how a human whore does it! Now!”
The command of his voice is final, your body is well trained to it. You cum hard, shattering around him as you choke out a cry, voice box pressed hard under his fingers. He doesn’t let up in his rhythm, but you feel him throbbing inside you, both cocks pulsing as you constrict. The pain of his bite to your neck only fuels the fire, and you lose count of how long he’s been buried within your cunt and ass, filling you to the brim with his potent seed.
When morning comes, he’s gone again. Only leaving the lingering smell of charcoal on your sheets.
Maybe you dreamt it, but you’re sure you felt someone pressing sweet kisses over your collarbone in the early haze of morning. When you wake you’re tucked up tightly, like he’s made sure to protect you from the cold even in his absence. A dainty, blood red flower sits on your pillow, leaves vibrant against the snow white linen.
Perhaps not such a monster after all.
He’s a big softy.
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mononijikayu · 1 month ago
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immortal sukuna who — in your third life (3).
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immortal sukuna masterlist
the candlelight flickered gently in the cool evening breeze, casting shadows that danced along the walls of the dimly lit room in the wide expanse of the estate.
it was slowly shifting to winter again and the cold was slowly echoing through, eagerly clawing its way into the world.
outside, the cicadas hummed, their rhythmic song adding to the quiet solitude of the house. the last echoes of such tender warmth.
you sat by the window, gazing out at the distant mountains, their peaks shrouded in a soft veil of mist.
the sky had turned a rich shade of dark blue and violet, the colors of dusk slowly giving way to the deep indigo of night.
today was your birthday, a day that should have been filled with laughter, warmth, and celebration.
yet, the house was silent. that much was clear. not even the servants were making much noise. and that much was clear.
your husband, the one who would normally be at your side, had been sent by the emperor to deliver a message to one of the lords in the distant countryside.
his absence weighed heavily on your heart, a void that no amount of candlelight or peaceful evening could fill.
and you had made a point to not celebrate anything, until his return.
you claim to say you were content about such a thing. but you were feeling the grief of loneliness.
one that your beloved husband promised he would never let you feel ever again.
a sigh escaped your lips as you leaned against the wooden frame of the window, the kimono you wore rustling softly as you shifted.
the soft fabric felt comforting against your skin, but it was not the same as the warmth of your husband's embrace.
you missed him dearly, and though you knew his duty was important, the loneliness crept in with every passing moment.
the night grew darker, and the candles continued to burn, their flames steady but small, much like your resolve.
the moon hung low in the sky, its silver light casting long shadows over the landscape.
tt was then, in the quiet stillness of the night, that you felt a presence. a familiar one.
you turned your head slowly, your heart skipping a beat as you saw him standing in the doorway, his tall figure silhouetted against the moonlight.
your eyes blinked. it was lord ryomen sukuna.
lord ryomen sukuna was the emperor's sword, you knew that much. and you had manage to find him a friend. but not all saw him as a friend.
sukuna's own mere presence could make the strongest men tremble, but not you.
for in this life, ryomen sukuna was more than just the legend, the monstrous being that living history painted him to be.
sukuna was... something different to you, at least.
lord sukuna was kind and generous to you, he always was.
even now, you could see it in the light in sukuna's eyes. kindness he only gifts to you. his own friend. his only friend.
"my lord sukuna." you whispered, your voice soft, a mix of surprise and curiosity.
sukuna stepped forward, his crimson eyes locking onto yours, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
there was always something otherworldly about sukuna, something that made the air around him feel charged, as if the very atmosphere bent to his will.
but tonight, there was a gentleness in sukuna's gaze, something almost... tender.
one that many at court were not as familiar as you were, you think.
"i thought i would find you here, waiting, my lady." sukuna said, his voice deep, but not harsh. "your lord husband is away, isn't he?"
you nodded, unable to find the words to speak in retort.
lord sukuna, the one who held the power to destroy kingdoms, stood before you now, and there was no malice in his eyes.
instead, there was something that made your heart ache, a longing that you both understood but never spoke of.
you wanted to know how to describe that feeling, to have a word to express them.
whenever you looked at lord ryomen sukuna, you like to think that you were missing something. something important.
and each time, you feel terrible deep inside that you don't remember. and you don't know why.
"i brought you something, my lady." sukuna continued, stepping closer to where you sat by the window.
sukuna's movements were graceful, almost predatory, but not in a way that made you fear him.
rather, it was as though lord ryomen sukuna was always in control, always aware of every step, every breath.
sukuna extended his hand, and in it, he held a neatly folded piece of fabric.
when you opened it, it revealed a beautiful silk kimono. you gasp in surprise.
the fabric shimmered in the low light, its intricate patterns of gold and silver threads woven through a deep shade of crimson, the same color as his eyes.
it was beautiful—delicate and regal, majestic in scarlet just like lord sukuna before you.
your eyes widened in surprise, and for a moment, you were speechless.
lord ryomen sukuna, the man whose very name sent shivers down the spine of those who heard it, was standing in front of you with a birthday gift.
a gift that was far more personal than anything you could have imagined. a gift especially for you.
"i had it made for you, my lady." sukuna said, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. "It's not much, and i had hoped for much better from my tailors. but... I thought you might like it."
you reached out, your fingers brushing against the smooth fabric, and you smiled. a genuine smile, one that you hadn't felt all day.
you looked up to him. "thank you, my lord sukuna. it is most beautiful."
lord ryomen sukuna watched you closely, his gaze never leaving your face as you admired the kimono.
there was something about the way lord sukuna looked at you that made your heart flutter—a mixture of intensity and softness.
it was as though sukuna could see right through you, past the facade of composure you wore and into the depths of your soul.
but lord ryomen sukuna, in all his power and wisdom, understood what you could not.
he does not have to say anything. sukuna had lived for centuries, seen countless lives come and go, has seen you come and go in each life.
and yet in this moment, with you once again, there was a stillness that sukuna cherished.
sukuna could see the longing in your eyes and yet, he could see tenderness. for him. one that he had longed to see.
but sukuna also knew something that others did not—he knew how to love you, even in ways that could never be spoken aloud. for as long as it takes.
"there is something else, my lady." sukuna said, pulling out a small piece of parchment from his sleeve. you looked.
it was folded neatly, and as sukuna handed it to you, his fingers brushed lightly against yours. "a poem."
your heart fluttered again, this time from the unexpected gesture. ryomen sukuna had always been a man of few words, even at the emperor's court.
even more so when it came to matters of the heart. tut here, sukuna had written something for you—something personal, something that only he could give. only for you.
with trembling hands, you unfolded the parchment, your eyes scanning the carefully written words.
the poem was short, but every line was filled with meaning, every word chosen with care. for you, from him.
in the stillness of the night,
where moonlight kisses the earth,
i find you waiting, always waiting.
a flower in the dark, blooming for no one but the stars.
and though i cannot hold you,
though i cannot claim what is not mine,
i hold you tenderly, in the quiet ways—
in the space between breaths, in the silence of the heart.
for even in this life, where time is endless,
i am content to watch you,
to know that in some small way,
i hold you with devotion from afar.
the words struck you deeply, each line resonating with a truth that you both understood but had never spoken. you felt ever so moved.
you looked up at him, your eyes glistening with unshed tears. "my lord sukuna... this is....i—"
"you don't have to say anything, my lady." sukuna interrupted gently, his voice soft. "i know. you musn't worry for me."
and he did know. ryomen sukuna had always known. you were born into this life. what fate gives, he cannot force away.
sukuna knew the love you held for your husband, the life you had built together, and he respected it.
but in this moment, ryomen sukuna was content, because in his own way, he could love you too. living like this, close to you. it was more than enough.
after a long suffering of waiting, over and over, losing you over and over. who was this immortal named ryomen sukuna to complain?
sukuna could give you the things that others could not—the quiet moments, the thoughtful gestures, the unspoken understanding that came with centuries of existence.
and that was more than enough. it was more than enough for him to smile.
you smiled at him, a warmth spreading through your chest as you folded the poem and placed it carefully on your lap. "thank you, my lord sukuna. truly."
he gave a small nod, his expression softening in a way that few had ever seen. "you're welcome."
for a moment, neither of you spoke, the silence between you filled with an unspoken bond.
it was a strange thing, this connection you had with him—ryomen sukuna stood there, admiring the peace that comes from the dwelling night.
he could be anywhere else and yet sukuna chose to be here with you. to live a moment only for you. with you.
and in that moment, you understood too. ryomen sukuna would always be there, in the quiet corners of your life, loving you in the only way he could.
as the night grew darker and the candles burned lower, ryomen sukuna fixed his sleeves, his towering figure casting a long shadow over the room. "i should go, my lady. the emperor....has need of me."
you nodded, though a part of you wished he could stay just a little longer. but you knew that he could not. you knew sukuna could not.
ryomen sukuna had always been a wanderer, a being untethered to the world in ways that no mortal could comprehend. and yet, you knew he would return again, as he always did.
"take care, my lord sukuna." you said softly, your voice carrying a note of affection that you knew he would understand. "come back again, my lord....and we shall drink tea together."
sukuna glanced at you one last time, his crimson eyes lingering on your face. "i will."
And with that, ryomen sukuna turned and disappeared into the night, leaving you alone once more. but this time, the loneliness did not feel so heavy.
you looked down at the kimono and the poem in your lap, a small smile tugging at your lips.
as you sat there, bathed in the soft glow of the moonlight, you felt a sense of peace wash over you.
because even though your husband was far away, and the house was quiet, you were not alone.
for a moment, you read sukuna's poem over and over again.
and thought to yourself, 'i hope this night never comes to and end.'
that night, you slept the best in your entire life.
and throughout, it was ryomen sukuna's kind face making you smile.
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bloodyknucklesforme · 12 days ago
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Pomegranate | Nikolai x F!reader
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Chapter 1
After a series of misfortunes you've found yourself in debt to Arno, a human trafficker operating in London. You work at his club, dancing and escorting, only to find yourself deeper and deeper in debt. One night you arrive at Nikolai's. He's handsome, abrasive, gross, tender at times and he might be the most dangerous man you've ever met.
cw: cw: dark fic, dubcon/noncon, reader is being trafficked, human trafficking, cockwarming, body inspection, piv, Nikolai is evil but also kind in his own weird way
Masterpost
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"Clothes off... all of them," A thick Russian accent said from the intercom. You looked up at the camera in the corner. He must have seen you hesitate, "I already paid. Don't waste my money."
It never got easier. The degradation and humiliation of stripping for strange men, being used like a toy and forced to pack yourself back up into your box till next time.  It'd been almost a year now. As you dropped your coat to the floor your anger and shame hit the ceiling. You'd trusted your ex, he promised to help you when you lost your job, when you couldn't pay rent, when you needed to borrow money. You moved to London for better opportunities now you were in some stranger's house waiting to be used. You'd lost track of how deep in debt you were to him and his 'friends'. 10k? 20k? It made your stomach clench.
"Don't cry. You'll fuck up your makeup." is what those cunts back at the club would always say before you got in the car to a client's.
Marcus, your ex, now trafficker, hammered it in that this was a very important client. Probably another criminal. A rich one at that. His house was more of a warehouse. Large, stretching for almost an entire block. Nondescript from the outside beyond the vault like door and fancy keypad, one you were given a code to on the way there. 
"Turn around," he ordered when the last of your clothes hit the floor. Checking for a wire or weapons you guessed. Knowing you were being watched like this made your skin crawl but it was better than being groped immediately on entry.
The room you were locked in was more of a safe room with steel walls and thick doors. One leading outside and the other leading further inside. No windows, just the camera, an intercom panel and a white gift box that sat on the floor. 
"New clothes in the box. Put them on."
It was a too small lacy bra and matching too small panties. A washed baby blue, all mesh so you were fully exposed. There was a loud buzzer and the door unlocked.
Inside was nice. Made to look like a palace. Wood floors covered in large red patterned rugs. The walls had large paintings you recognized from an art history class years ago. You couldn’t tell if they were real or not. The details were obscured by the darkness. There was only one light on in the hallway, a door was opened down the way. It was a maw that beckoned you toward it. 
You stood at the threshold. The living room was equally extravagant. The walls were painted a wine red lacquer, almost mirror like. The ceiling had complex molding, painted the same color as the walls. The windows were all blacked out with heavy velvet curtains. It felt cold in this room. To the left was a large bar with more bottles than you'd ever seen in your life. To the right was a large couch and projector screen. Soviet era antiques were scattered about. It felt more like a palace than a home. A palace for some dark god, one that ruled pain and death. 
"You're prettier than the photo." You jumped at the voice. He was so quiet you didn't notice him on the couch. He was big, obviously tall but muscular with wide shoulders. He had a layer of fat that only worked to increase his intimidating stature. Dark hair slicked back with a widow's peak. Stubble covered the bottom part of an aged face. He wasn't old, older yes but whatever business he was in had aged him around the eyes. Dark eyes that hid any emotion from you.
He snapped his fingers and motioned for you to walk over. He had a cigar in the other hand. The smell filled the room. 
"Good. You follow instructions. More than I can say for the last one Arno sent me." He motioned for you to spin around again, giving your ass a light spank and laughing when you yelped. "You fuck anyone else today?"
"No," you shook your head. He blew cigar smoke at you, watching the silver bisect around your middle.
"Good. I'd hate to waste more time cleaning you out. They never do a good job at that." He put his cigar in the ashtray beside him. "On your knees."
"What's your name?" He asked, making space between his legs for you. You answered softly, a lie. Never give them anything was what another girl told you. Give anything and they’ll take until there’s nothing left. Even your bones could be used to pick teeth. He held your chin between two fingers, moving your head around like a doll. "Open your mouth."
He leaned forward, looking inside you. A thumb hooked over your bottom row of teeth. It tasted like tobacco and sweat. You'd learned to hold back gags long ago. 
"I don't like girls with rotten teeth." He ran a finger over your teeth, top and bottom, occasionally pressing on one.  He frowned, "Stop shaking. I'm not going to hurt you."
A lie, most likely. Men always said that before fucking you, like they could believe you were there willingly, like they didn't pick you out of a catalogue of girls. You clenched your fists in your lap and willed the fear out of your bones. Docile thing, something to be eaten to the core. You were always good. Arno controlled his girls with an iron hand. You’d heard the beatings other girls got when they disappointed. There were clients who had girls sent to them yet never returned them. Disappointing girls got sent there. Sacrifices to the gods of gold. Arno always wore gold.
"I like girls who like you." He pulled his fingers out of your mouth and pushed your jaw shut. "I paid to have you till morning. Make it worth it."
He leaned back with a sigh, grabbing a remote and turning on the projector. A hockey game flicked onto the screen, the noise from the stadium coming from speakers you never saw. 
"Is there...uh...anything you want me to call you?" Men liked all sorts of names. Daddy, Master, Sir. Rarely creative, often repeated. Some used their real name but not many, no one wants the risk of their whore becoming too mouthy. 
He looked down at you, like he already forgot you were there.
"Sir, when you answer my questions. Kolya, when I fuck you." He undid his belt and spread his legs wider. You knew your job. He picked up his cigar again as you undid the zipper on his pants.
He laid a hand on the back of your head, pressing down your hair. "Just keep me warm for now. Don't want to miss anything."
You took a deep breath before taking him into your mouth. He was thick and uncut. Intimidating even half hard. He didn't push as you worked your throat open, slowly bobbing your head. Sometimes men would ply you with liquor, help you to relax a bit more. You wish he had. The mix of salts from precum and skin filled your senses. A hesitant hand moved to rest on his thigh for leverage. He didn't shake you off. 
You glanced up at him when you took him to the hilt. Hoping for some sign of approval, not for your ego but the sake of your security. Men in pleasure were less likely to be agitated. 
"Good job, Kotenok." He rubbed his knuckles across your cheek, gold rings cooling your skin. He let you rest against his thigh, nose tickled by his dark pubes. Cigar smoke, the drone of the tv and the blood rushing around your head started to calm your nerves. Maybe tonight wouldn't be as awful as you thought.
He thrusted lazily during every commercial break. A hand holding your head steady against his thigh. He chuckled when you gagged. Everything was in Russian so you couldn't follow the game beyond his angry or excited, more so angry, ad libs.
He finally sighed and turned off the tv. He tapped your cheek softly.
"Kotenok, I need you to make me feel better about my team losing."
He made you walk ahead of him, directing you towards his bedroom. His dark eyes dug into your spine. A step below you and still a head taller. This is what a deer feels when the wolf stalks it. 
His bedroom was dark, a single lamp sat on the side table. The walls were a lime washed white. The bed was antique, made of carved dark wood. The sheets were white silk with a matching comforter. It was unmade. More paintings lined the walls haphazardly. When you were younger you used to cut pictures from magazines and tape them up to your own bedroom walls. He had seemingly done the same. 
You crawled onto the bed, swaying your hips as enticingly as you could manage. A hand wrapped around your ankle and pulled you back to the edge of the bed. You yelped as his hips hit your ass, cock bouncing against your cheeks.
"Remember  what I told you, Kotenok?" He pulled your panties down, calloused hands scraping against your thighs. "What to call me?"
"Kolya."
"Good girl." He dragged a hand down your back, knuckles bumping every ridge of your spine. You tried your best not to fidget under his touch, not to let the chill of the air or tickle of his fingers get to you. You heard clothing hit the floor behind you. You stared ahead, picking out one of the paintings to focus on. 
A young woman stared back at you, perched in a carriage and dressed in black, a feathered hat on her head. She looked upset, like you were unworthy of looking at her and you should avoid your gaze. 
Two fingers felt around your entrance. A shiver ran down your spine. You weren't wet enough, you knew that. You clung to the comforter, waiting for pain. 
"I told you to stop shaking. I said I wouldn't hurt you." He rubbed a hand across your ass. He sounded annoyed. You closed your eyes and pressed your face against the silk. It smelled clean and floral.
There was the snap of plastic and cold fingers prodding at your cunt.
"Shhh...I don't break the things I buy." He didn't admonish you for hiding your face as he scissored you open. He was almost tender, rubbing your hip with slow circles. His fingers curved to press against that soft spot inside you, pulling soft whines from you. "There we go, Kotenok."
You were pulled back again till your pelvis was hanging off the edge of the bed, toes curling around the plush of the rug. He ran the head of his cock between your folds, nudging at your entrance. He pushed in slowly, groaning loudly as you whimpered and fidgeted. Despite the preparation it was a stretch and burn. He held you down by your hips.
"Good girl," he purred with one last push. The head of his cock bumped against your cervix , causing you to clench in pain. It only spurred him to start thrusting. Your face dragged against the sheets as he rocked your entire body. His thrusts were hard and deep, like he wanted to mark the inside of you. 
"Close your eyes and let it happen. Most of them don't last long anyways," a girl said to you early on. You didn't remember her name or face anymore. 
You forced out moans every time his hips smacked against your ass. Arching your back so he could think he was pleasuring you. There was a modicum of pleasure, chasing it was too much effort, especially with unreceptive partners.
He wrapped an arm around your waist, hand dipping between your thighs. He pinched your clit till you cried out. His chin tucked against your shoulder, pushing his full weight against you. His body was hot and the thick hair on his chest scratched at your skin. 
"I don't like liars, Kotenok." He rubbed harsh circles till you moaned and shuddered. He hissed, "Cum on my cock or be quiet."
His other hand grabbed your shoulder and hauled you back up with him. Your back still pressed against his chest. Still rubbing your clit, he hooked an arm under yours and rested it between your breasts while holding your chin and forcing you to look upwards. There was a mirror on the ceiling. He smirked at you in the reflection. You dug your nails into your thighs, tears springing up in your eyes. It was horrific and erotic and disgusting and ugly and it made you wet. Some last threads of dignity snapping under the image of him fucking you. 
"Say my name," He panted.
"Kolya...please...Kolya."
"Want to come on my cock? Beg me for it." He licked your ear.
"Kolya please...please Kolya. I want to come. Please. Kolyaaaaa!"
You watched yourself as he forced you up to your peak, clenching around his cock. He laughed harshly and smacked your pussy. He held you up as your legs failed to support you any longer. You came hard, grabbing at his arms, manicured nails digging into his muscles. You would have thrashed about if he hadn’t had such a tight grip on you. 
He growled something in Russian before biting down on your shoulder. He filled you to the brim, his cock twitching inside your still clenching pussy. His cum was a familiar warm that leaked out around his cock and down your leg. He let go and you fell face forward against the bed.
"Catch your breath. I still want my money's worth." He patted the back of your thigh. You hiccuped softly as you regained sense. Limbs feeling heavy, your whole body stretched to its limit. 
You turned your head as he sat down a carafe of water and two glasses on the side table. 
“Need any?” He asked, filling his own glass. You nodded shyly. It was the first time you really saw him naked. He had a litany of tattoos across his chest and arms, too dark to make out details but you could see angels, skulls, cyrillic writing, a fighter jet, the virgin mary and a star on each of his knee caps. Near his groin was a pentagon with letters you couldn’t make out. A gold chain with an Orthodox cross hung around his neck. A layer of black body hair covered him, darkening everything even further. 
“Thank you.” You gulped down your glass, water dribbling down your chin. He wiped it away as he took your glass.
“On your hands and knees now,” He said, pushing back his hair. You faced the woman again, glaring back at her as you presented yourself to him. The mattress dipped behind you. He said something in Russian before pushing back inside you. 
You lost count of how many times he fucked you. You were pliant and submissive, following his lead as he bent you into whatever position he wanted. He was more virile than you expected. More gentle than you anticipated with a grossness you expected. The next time you asked for water he spit his glass into your mouth. He pinched and pulled but never bent you so hard you broke. Gagging, crying and cumming but never sobbing or screaming. 
You woke up sore. Dried cum and bite marks covering your body. He was sitting in an armchair in the corner, watching you sleep. He was already showered and dressed in a silk robe. 
"You’ll shower before you leave. Scrub well." He slapped your ass before shutting the bathroom door and locking it from the outside. 
Another extravagant room. Oxblood tiles and heated floors. A large marble counter and a mirror taking up most of the wall behind it.
It was a large shower but more importantly the water was hot. Not warm but hot. You could have cum just from feeling the jets against your skin. The body wash was luxurious - sweet and woody. You scrubbed well. These kinds of men didn't want their DNA wandering all over the place. 
There was a towel left for you but no clothes and your lingerie from last night was missing as well. He did leave a cup of tea for you on the bedside table. There were painkillers too. You took it all in one scalding gulp. 
You kept the towel wrapped around yourself as you walked back downstairs. You found him through the one open door in the hall.  He was sitting at the dining table, typing on a laptop, cup of espresso cooling next to him. 
"Come here, Kotenok." He tugged your towel till it fell to the floor. He tapped the inside of your thigh till you spread them. "Don't start shaking again. Need to make sure you cleaned up well."
You bit your lip. He spread you open with two fingers, tilting his head as he inspected you. You yelped when he forced a dry finger inside you, moving it around and dragging it against your walls. He pulled it out and stared at his finger for a moment before sticking in his mouth. 
"Good girl." He nodded and got a money clip from his pocket. "I like you. I'll see you again in a week."
He handed you five hundred pounds. You stared at King Charles in disbelief. You'd been tipped before but never this much. You would have to hide it. You didn’t know where but you had to. If he kept tipping you like this it could make a dent in your debt to Marcus and Arno. 
"Thank you, sir."
"Did I ask you a question?" He didn't look away from his computer.
"No...umm...Thank you, Kolya." An offering of affection, appease the god and receive bountiful gifts. 
The corner of his mouth twitched into a smile. An actual smile. 
"If Arno takes that from you, tell me. That's your money. I paid him enough as is. Now go get dressed. Your car is here." He pointed back towards the front door.
You hurried off, afraid to go back to Marcus and Arno but also too scared of what Kolya would do if you delayed. 
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Here is the rewritten part 1! Part 2 will go up in the next few days. If you have any questions, comments, thirst messages about this fic please send them. I love talking about Nikolai and his Kotenok.
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fatalsmile · 1 month ago
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*slides 5$ out to the dash* ship with me please. 🥺 If you like this I might come to you to plot out a ship or just throw you a shippy starter.
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fatalsmiles · 3 months ago
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....the urge to change fcs hour is upon us. Someone hit me with the fish of sanity.
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deadlysmilea · 1 year ago
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pspspsps.... Like for memes. You'll get 2-3 memes when I get back from the store.
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the-fiction-witch · 11 months ago
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Bump
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Media The Artful Dodger
Character Jack Dawkins
Couple Jack X Reader
Rating Sweet AF
I continued on my rounds checking my paperwork, as and when required popping in to anyone who wasn't urgent enough to come into the hospital. I checked on my way to the last house for the day, so I put my paperwork away and carried my bag with me, to the familiar deep blue front door, I fixed my jacket a little and swung the silver knocker a few times. The door swung open revealing young Elis Mayflower in her usual dress, "Ohh 'ello Dr Dawkins, we were expectin' you" She nodded and opened the door to let me in "Thank you, Elis," I nodded and took off my hat and jacket which Elis happily took "Where is she?" "Upstairs Doctor" She nodded I nodded and made my way up the stairs bag in hand. I headed down the hall past the paintings and small mostly unused rooms, until I stopped just before the last door.
The door was open a crack, light cascading from within, the sweet gentle sounds barely audible. I pushed open the door enough my body could slip inside, the well-polished wooden floor covered in dancing shadows from the fire, the flames in the fireplace danced and flickered sending the smell of oak wood and tyme across the room, the sound of the wood cracking and popping, the dark purple walls littered with almost too many paintings to even see the walls any longer, the window to the side shuttered up and then a curtain over it letting not a single bit of the harsh light from outside find its way, The various furniture littered the room.
The Main feature of the room, of course, the large wooden bed. With four tall wooden posts and a railing that normally hung purple curtains but they were missing today, the bed sheets were tossed into one corner of the bed, and sitting in it was the most perfect of sights.
Y/n sat in the bed, her back sat up but she had so many pillows between her and the headboard she must have been six inches from it if not more, her legs our straight, her hair free from any braids, and twisted, plaits or anything else, allowed to hang completely free with a slight kink to the hair where it so often lived plaided up and hidden below her hat. Her hair slightly in her face hiding it from me, she wore only a cotton shirt with long billowing sleeves that stopped just below her thigh, I thought for a moment I recognised it, as well as a pair of purple woollen socks that reached her knees with one white stripe around the top, her toes wiggling as they where warmed by the fire, her hands stroking her stomach, as she looked as if she was hiding a small barrel under her dress.
The small wooden and silver box on her table, the small silver ballerina twirling slowly as it paid her the music box song, the slight clicking and tinniness to the song as the music was plaid. And she sang with it, her voice gliding along the notes not loud enough for anyone beyond the door could hear her, as her hands stroked her stomach, tenderly, carefully, almost like she was afraid but loved all the same, her eyes on her enlarged belly and nothing else as if it and she were all that existed.
I couldn't hold back a smile, I must have looked an absolute picture, smiling so widely my cheeks hurt, red with blush to see her this way. I softly closed the door and took soft steps to lean my shoulder on the bedpost not enough to draw her attention, so I stood and watched for what could have been a thousand years, until her music box stopped and thus her song ended. "You're glowing," I spoke up, She jumped a little at my sudden words but she looked up with a sweet innocent smile, "Ohh, Hello Doctor Dawkins," She smiled, "I didn't hear you come in," "I didn't want to disturb your sweet song," I cooed unable to drag my eyes away from her just wanting to look at her a little while longer. She smiled "Aren't you going to examine me, doctor?" "Alright," I smiled moving to sit on her bed, I set my bag on the bed and opened it up to search through for what I needed. "How are you feeling?" "Much the same," She nodded leaning on her arms so I could touch her stomach, I checked her over as we spoke making sure everything was as it should be asking her short questions about how things were going and much of it was the same as last I saw her "So, When will it be?" She asked excitedly,
"Well, that's the question isn't it," I chuckled "I wish I could tell you, but unfortunately children are sort of a law unto themselves, when baby decides its time, then baby will come." I explained "You, I or anyone else doesn't have much of a say in it. But baby will let you know when it's time" I told her stroking her sweet cheek "Alright?" "Alright," she nodded, "I admit I am half tempted to get you a room at the hospital, just so you're close by," I told her, "I want to be here, where I'm comfortable." She said stroking her bump "Are you sure you don't want to be at the hospital?" "I'm sure," She nodded "Alright, as soon as you feel a contraction I want to know" I warn her, "I'll run all the way here if I have to." I winked "Can I? Please?" She pleads I smiled and got my stethoscope from my bag I gave the end a little warm with my hand before I tugged up her shirt just far enough to see her bare stomach, I put the other end to my ear and listened as I rested it on her skin, I shifted it across her skin until I found the best place to hear the rhythmic beating, for a moment I was frozen as I heard the gentle beats, each caused my own heart to swell and I had to fight back the tears "Here," I smiled and handed her the listening end and she happily put it to her ear and listened with the most excited smile I had ever seen a girl have,
She sniffled, tears slowly falling staring at her stomach as she listened "Hi Darling," She cooed and you could see the movement as the baby kicked, "You think he can hear me?" "Of course, he can, He can hear you talk to him, hear you sing to him, You're his mother, he loves you more than anyone will ever understand," I told her kissing her forehead, "Can he hear his daddy?" She asked as she took my hand and settled it on her stomach so I could feel him kick, "Of course, He can." I smiled giving her bump a sweet kiss "Hi little guy," I smiled as I rubbed my nose on her stomach and I gave her bump and our baby kisses. "It won't be long now, I'm sure of it." "Good, I don't want to be pregnant anymore Jack" She laughs returning my stethoscope to my bag,
"No?" "No. My feet are so swollen I can't wear shoes, I don't fit in any of my dresses anymore, I leak everywhere, I'm throwing up all the time, He's kicking me like I'm a football," She explained "It's not fun being pregnant Jack." "You said you liked it?" "I did when I was a couple of months and I had a cute little bump I could stroke as we walked through town." "You were adorable." I smiled thinking back to when she was newly pregnant, wandering around town with her little bump in her dress, I admit it made me feel very proud of myself. "And still are." "I'm as big as a ship Jack." she pouted, "They'll try to hollow me out and sail me to Africa," "You're a ship?" I chuckled, "ummmm" She nodded, "Well then, Permission to come aboard?" I smirked climbing over her to start kissing all over her face and neck which caused her giggle "Ohh yes a very beautiful ship, the most beautiful ship in the world, I shall have to steal her and sail the world single-handedly with her!" "Jack!" she laughed as she pushed me off her, "What's this anyway?" I glared tugging on her shirt, "I borrowed it," She giggled, "Borrowed?" "Well you've been working so much," she innocently smiled "We missed you." "I've missed you both too." I smiled, "But I need to do all this extra work, so I have lots of time off for when baby comes. I don't wanna be stuck up the hospital and leave you here with our little one, I wanna be here to help, and cuddle, and watch him grow. I don't wanna miss anything."
"Good, You can stay up all night when he cries then." "Ohh I know I will, I know what a trial it is trying to get you out of bed when you don't want to." "I don't like to be awoken," She pouts, "I just want this to be over." "Over?" I asked a little worried, "You know what I mean, I'm just… It's been a long nine months Jack, I'm tired." "I know you are," I smiled and kissed her lips "It won't be too much longer sweetheart."
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